Saturday September 16, 2006
A monumental day for Joe, and all of us

This was G-day, the day had arrived for Joe to go to the group home I had found. I had looked at several places and felt good about the one I had chosen in north Scottsdale. I had told Joe he would have to stay there while I went to see our new granddaughter in Illinois, near Chicago. He did not like it but most of the time he would finally accept it as it was to be for just the duration of the time I was gone. To tell the truth, I was hoping it would work out to be permanent because in past two months Joe had gotten so much worse and required full time and constant care. I have felt for some time it was time for him to go to a residential group home that only took 5-10 people.

Friday evening I took him to dinner to his favorite place, Pappadeaux’s, and we had a wonderful evening. After we got home I reminded him that the next day he was to go to the home and he got very angry and said harsh things to me. I was upset and so was he.

But when he woke up Saturday he did not remember Friday night at all, and was happy and cheerful and even said “what are we going to do today?’. I decided not to tell him or remind him and to let the morning remain peaceful, as I had to shower and shave him and dress him.

At 11:00 a.m. my friend Esther came over to go with us. Joe adores her and I wanted her with us as a buffer and because she is so wonderful with him. She just said, “let’s go” and walked Joe to the car and he did not resist or ask where we were going. About half way there he did say, “Where are we going?” and then answered it himself by saying we were probably going to lunch. I thought he would recognize the house when I pulled up in front of it but he didn’t, and commented what a beautiful home it was and asked who lived there? (he had been there before and toured the place and had lunch there a few weeks ago, but he had forgotten it)

We went in the house and he kept saying how big it was and how nice it was and then I told Esther to take him on a tour of the place and I put the few last minute things I had brought in his room. I had brought his clothing, etc. the day before, so all was already there. I had even put out photos of all the grandkids and a small CD player and some of his jazz CD’s. He never noticed any of that.
Then I told him lunch was ready and they wanted him at the table to eat, so he went and ate lunch with other residents. He was talkative and even made a joke at the table. Esther and I went out on patio and talked. After the meal, the lady in charge asked Joe if he would like to take a nap and he said he would and she took him to his room and he went to bed. She came to get us as she could not work the CD player and Esther went to the room and put on the music and talked to Joe.
We woke him when we left and kissed him and then he went back to sleep. They said best I did not come back tht day so Joe could settle in.
The day went so smoothly and Joe showed no resistance, and Esther and I both started crying because we knew our prayers had been answered. It was like a miracle! Thank you, God.

Another wonderful thing that happened was with a couple of very wonderful residents there. Probably the only two there who can converse and seem to understand things. Herman is the sweetest man with a very keen mind, but he is very sick. The staff had said he had been asking every day when Joe would be there. He had Joe sit by him at the table and was very nice to him. As Esther and I were leaving, Esther said, “let’s go see Herman” and she thanked Herman for being so welcoming and loving to Joe, and Herman said, “ Don’t worry. I will take care of him!” It was just the sweetest thing. The other special resident there is the only woman there and her name is Pat. She is just a joy, and Esther fell in love with her too.

So ends day one. I think it has all been a bigger adjustment for me than Joe. I cried every day last week and it is the hardest thing I have ever done.