Today was Elsie's 95th birthday and I was present at her birthday celebration. Her two daughters were there (one lives here and one lives out of state), and her cake was absolutely beautiful. They had balloons and party stuff and all had a good time.
It was done right after lunch. Maria, who works at the home on weekends, made the cake! It was even more delicious than it looked and it looked fantastic. The little girl is Maria's 5 year old daughter, Sammy.
I also got photos of Joe's new wheelchair which was delivered on Friday afternoon.
When I got there he was in living room and he was listening to his Ray Charles CD.
I sat down right by him and talked to him. I always tell him any and all news I have, whether he gets what I am saying or not-he listens and gets part of it at least. Then a rather sad song came on CD about a love relationship and the words were "Something in me is going to die..how can I go on...must say goodbye." When I heard the words I knew Joe was going to take that on a personal level of his own "going" and sure enough, tears were rolling down his eyes. Then the music said, "please don't go away from me. I can't stop loving you." By that time we were both crying. I was crying because he was crying. Then Ray Charles goes into another song "Heaven help us all", and Joe cried even more. Just in last week or so he has become more in tune with his feelings, more sad, more aware he is not doing very well, and I know he realizes what is going on with him. I can see it in his eyes.
It all makes me sad I can hardly stand it anymore. I asked him if he wanted me to turn off the music and he said no. Believe me, I was wanting to turn it off, because it is hard watching him cry and know he is aware (at times) of his own decline. Joe never cried, so this is all new and unusual for him. This happened last week when some other music was playing too.
I have asked them to only give him soft foods. In fact, the two girls working yesterday recommended it, and I called the home mgr. this morning and asked everyone be notified to give him soft foods. At lunch when I was there today he was being fed food hard for him to chew and swallow, and I spoke up and asked he not be fed that, and then took it away from him and fed him egg salad spoon by spoon myself and I fed him the pudding and also the birthday cake. I was mad and everyone knew it, and the girl feeding him tried to deny she knew to feed him soft food. I found out later she was lying to me, and I had an idea that she was. It was not a good scene but changes will be made. Joe chokes way too much on anything not soft, and I have good backup to support me with the homes mgr. and the owners, so this will be done. I am there all the time to see and know and insist Joe is taken care of in the best way possible. He deserves that and this is the first problem I have ever had but it will be solved. In the photos they really show how thin Joe has become. And that is why I insist he be fed properly. I fight for those I love, and I fight for what is right.
