In every adversity........

"Nothing divine dies.
All good is eternally reproductive."

"In every adversity are the seeds of an equivalent or far greater benefit."
Both of these quotes are from Ralph Waldo Emerson, and I think of them this week.
So much happening, so much sadness, and so much good...all at the same time.

I made a decision on Wednesday evening that we should just let Joe rest in bed and sleep. Sleep is all he wants to do anyway right now. So yesterday was the first day of this, and I fed him in bed. I go every day for a few hours and I am always there at a mealtime, so I can feed him. This way, I know he has had sufficient food, at least for one meal. We have him completely on soft foods now. Yesterday I gave him some mashed potatoes, small macaroni and cheese, and applesauce. I just wake him to feed him, and wake him now and then to say something to him. He knows me and he knows I am there. Several people saw him and talked to him yesterday but not sure he understands what they say or what is going on. Cano called him on the phone and said what he wanted to say to him, to let Joe know he loved him. Joe smiled, even a small laugh, when Cano said he wished he were here and they could go get a beer. Jana and her son Evin came to see Joe, and Jana is always so wonderful with him. Everyone loves Joe,and it is good people are saying this to him. I know, he knows he is loved.
The only thing he said to me yesterday that I could understand, was that he loved me.
Karina was there and prepared the mac and cheese and potatoes for him, and that is not even her job-she is manager of the four care homes Jana and Peter own. She is so kind and loving and it was so nice having her there. Nancy S., who is an activity person who comes to the home, and who I have known for years (her father has Parkinson's and is in a home) also came in to see Joe. As hard as this all is, I know it is all good. I also know it makes you stronger and also have more empathy with others, when you care for someone like this and are present with it all. It is not a burden, it is a gift, to experience this. I do not say this because it "sounds good", I say it because I know and believe it.