10 month anniversary

Today Joe has been in his care home for 10 months. It was not a good day for him.
As I was dressing and getting ready to go visit Joe this morning, I got a call from his care home. They said he was unable to walk this morning. And also, that he was unable to swallow and had been choking. Rosie, a caregiver at the home, had to pull phlegm from his mouth, it was so thick. He was unable to eat anything also. And they said he was just not feeling well at all.
I got to the home and found him sitting in the family room in a wheelchair and looking not good at all. He had his lips tight together, and I know when he does this, he has a lot of phlegm. So because of that he could not talk at all. He tried to tell me something and could only say one word, and I did not understand him, even though I had my ear right to his mouth. Every time he thought he wanted to tell me something, in just a second, he had forgotten what he wanted to say.
The first thing I did was check his medications record and see what time the two drugs he takes for this had been given to him. One was to be taken at 8:00 a.m. and one at 12:00 noon. I had them go ahead and give him the one for noon early, and left orders for them to give him both at same time in the morning, and I would contact the doctor about this on Monday morning.
It took an hour for the pill to work and for him to be able to speak. I asked him what he wanted me to do for him, and he said, "you have already done it." I asked him what I had done, and then I realized he meant the pill. So I asked him did he mean getting the other pill, and he said yes.
At least by noon he was able to eat food, and I could see he was hungry. He tried to eat his soup but had forgotten what utensils to use and how to use them. I fed his soup to him and then he picked up a half of a sandwich to eat. It did keep falling apart but he finally got it down but would only take 2 bites of a macaroni salad. So I went in kitchen and toasted another slice of bread and made him another half of an egg salad sandwich. He ate part of it, but it fell apart also. When I kept trying to get him to eat it, he looked at the others at the table and said, 'Does anyone have a shotgun?" I knew then, that at least he was speaking again and had his sense of humor back and it made everyone laugh.
Then he saw ice cream being served, and he would not have eaten anything else anyway, once he saw the dessert. So they brought him his ice cream but once again, he could not figure out how to feed himself or eat it. So I told him I would feed him and I did. He gets mad at me because he does not want me having to feed him. Still independent. But he can't do it, so I have to. I would get the spoon of ice cream to his mouth and he would have his lips tight shut, but when he felt the cold ice cream against his lips, he would open his mouth and eat it, so that is how he ate all the ice cream. He has lost so much weight, and he needs to eat, so I was pretty insistent (and persistent!). Like a child, you have to do what is good for him.
I do not know if he will continue to be in a wheelchair, but he may. I am not as concerned about that as I am the choking. But he was better when I left after being there 2 hours, than he was when I arrived. I just called this evening to check on him and they said he was asleep and would keep a watchful eye on him. I will call again in the morning, and go see him tomorrow after church also.
Two major changes today- not able to walk, and not able to feed himself.
I did talk to both Deidre and Heidi on the phone, so they knew what was going on, and were both very concerned. I fell apart for about 10 minutes this morning when I couldn't reach either of them, and just wanted some support and help. Some times I really hate having to do all of this and make decision by myself. But I called my sister, Nancy and that helps as I can at least talk to her about it and she always wants to know everything going on with him anyway. So that got me through the worst of it. So, I made it through the day and I am OK.......so that is good. It is all a learning and growing process, and I accept that. No mistakes...all meant to be.
"Life is lived from the inside out"......Eric Butterworth