I think...this is really the last post to this blog

I said I had done my last blog on this site but added the bears post to both of my blog sites.
The bears started with Joe and his brown bear given to him by CLF and Rev. MItzi, so this bear blog belongs here too.
But I may post more bear photos, so might not be the end yet.

In my next lifetime...I want to be a Bear

I’m Gonna be a Bear
Everytime I read this I smile.

In this life I’m a woman. In my next life, I’d like to come back as a bear.
When you’re a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.
When you’re a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you’re sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.
If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
If your a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
Yup… i’m gonna be a bear.

I love this poem and had to find it online, after taking all the bear photos last evening. Plus planning to take more bear photos this Sunday, when the multitude of bears are blessed at my church. This is a photo of my 3 bears and all the bears my friend Kathy W. brought me last night to take to the church on Sunday. Last Monday Nancy and I bought 3 bears and took those to my church also. My 3 bears in the photo are Joe's blessed prayer bear that was given to him by Rev. Mitzi a couple weeks before he died; and the small white bear is mine I got to go with his brown bear; and the larger white bear I bought for Esther, so guess she is seeing her gift early. When she saw my bears, she said she wanted a blessed bear too, so told her I would get her one and I would personally bless it for her!

Last Blog

This blog began in September 2006, one year ago, when Joe entered the care home. It has been a good outlet for me dealing with his disease and care, and my life's ups and downs, and now needs to close. I will start another blog at a different address.

Joe's celebration of life service on Saturday 22nd was as perfect as a memorial could be. Everything I planned worked perfectly and then many more added blessings were given to what I planned. I could never have dreamed for the perfection that it was, and the events and words that occurred without my planning. It was awesome, or as J.C. Walker said on phone to me yesterday, it was "phenomenal". Yes, it was. It was also pure Joe. It was the most unique service I had ever experienced, and those same words were said to me over and over by everyone I spoke with. It lasted two hours, but everyone said it felt like 30 minutes. The impromptu singing by Tommie Jr's five daughters of "This little light of mine" was amazing. I could never have imagined such a blessed thing happening and it was wonderful. And then the many people who stood and told "Joe stories" amazed me also- so many, many wonderful words about Joe and all funny and incredible. The one thing I know to be true, is that no one who was there will ever forget it.

There were 141 friends and family members present. The DVD of Joe that Deidre created was beyond words wonderful. We laughed and cried and celebrated the wonderful person Joe was.
Rev. Mitzi's message and Rev. Michele's recorded message were fantastic. And the wonder of the day as always, was Renee Morgan Brooks singing Amazing Grace, The Rose, and We Will Meet Again. Everyone told me they had never heard anyone sing like Renee. What a blessing for her to share her amazing talent with all of us and be the loving soul and presence that she was. And Jimmy Boyd, the jazz master musician was the best in the valley and we had him on Saturday- another truly amazing performance as he played six Duke Ellington songs. The hit of the day and the most laughter was the fun we had listening to Louis Jordan sing four songs of fun and celebration. The only mistake I made was not telling people they could dance in the aisles to his music, as many said they wanted to! It was just that kind of day and Joe loved it I know!

Deidre gave a wonderful, loving tribute to her father; Tommie Jr., Joe's cousin, also gave a wonderful tribute to Joe; and I read a letter to Joe. Jean June from the Muhammad Ali Center spoke as did Jana, the owner of Joe's first care home. I asked Trevor to sit by me and loved being with my wonderful grandson. Trevor's father was at the service as was Trevor's best friend, Milad. Heidi's boss and several of her friends were there too. My friend, Esther, flew in from Washington DC for the service, and another dear friend, Mary, came in from San Diego.
A lunch was served after the services that Joe would have loved- we had all his favorites- barbecue beef sandwiches, potato salad, sweet potato pie, and more. My friend Peggy came from Tucson, and surprised me too. I had so many friends there, cannot list them all, and appreciated everyone of them being there for me. My sister, Nancy also came from Kansas and stayed five days with me. So many of Joe's cousins were there and it was such a joy and blessing.

You were the most loved person I could ever know, Joe! I sleep with your prayer bear and I cry for you every night and I will love you forever.

Thursday night.....and life goes on

This whole week has been so busy, I can't believe it is Friday tomorrow and my sister Nancy arrives from Kansas, and my daughter, Deidre from Illinois. This week and last week have gone by so fast and are a blur to me. I can't even remember what I have done each day unless I look at my date book. My step-daughter, Ravelle called this evening and she has walking pneumonia and can't be here (she lives in Colorado). I do have my friend Esther flying in from Washington DC and also my friend Mary Mc. coming from San Diego. I know all who loved Joe will be here and that is a good feeling.
My beloved Jewish friends cannot attend because Saturday is Yom Kippur, but their hearts and love will be with me.
Last evening my friend Kathy W. came over and we went to dinner and also talked for hours, then went to the pool to exercise. (it is getting way too cool to get in the pool at night!)

Tonight I had dinner at L'Amore with five other women in my previous cancer support group. All five said they would be at the service. I feel blessed and loved to have so many friends who have said they will be there for me. Today at noon my friend Elaine took me to lunch at Mimi's before I had to go to my Heart care appointment, and she will be at Joe's services also.

I received very good news on Tuesday this week. I had my six month mammogram and I am ok. I had a scare because my oncologist found a lump in my right breast a few weeks ago, but I am ok! Thank you God for this blessing.

Joe's obituary in Phoenix newspaper Sept. 19th, 2007

Joseph Daniel Parker, Jr., "Tic", born October 14, 1931 in Phoenix, Arizona, Booker T. Washington Hospital, 216 E. Washington. He was the only son of Joseph D. Parker Sr. and Erma B. Coe Parker Harris. Joe transitioned on September 9, 2007. Joe attended elementary grades at Booker T. Washington School and Dunbar School. He attended Carver High School 1947-1950. He was drafted into the Army in 1952 and served until 1954. When he got out of the service he attended Phoenix College and graduated in 1956. In 1955 Joe began working for Mountain Bell Telephone Company. Mt. Bell would only hire African Americans as janitors, and this was the position he had until Civil Rights laws were passed. Joe then worked in various positions for Mt. Bell. He retired after 38 years in January, 1993. Joe has one daughter from his first marriage to Opal Weaver, Siretha L. Parker and grandson, Jarran Parker who resides in California. Joe married Ruth Graham on August 28, 1970. They were married 37 years this year. He has three stepchildren, Heidi Graham, Tempe, AZ, Deidre Hefel, Elburn, Illinois, Frankie Graham, deceased. From this marriage there are four grandchildren, Trevor Graham, Zachary Stavinsky, Isaac Hefel and Emma Ruth Hefel. Joe was diagnosed with Lewy Body Parkinson's in 2002. He attended John C. Lincoln Adult Day Care from 2002-2006. In fall 2006, he began residing in a private care home. Joe's physicians and therapists were all part of Muhammad Ali Parkinson's Center. Since early 2007, he has been cared for by Hospice of the Valley. No matter where he was, everyone loved him. Joe loved his friends from childhood, Andrew "Mucho" Williams, J.C. Walker, Don Christopher, Roosevelt "Rip" Woods and "Barbecue" Jack Martin. Joe was well loved by friends and family and will be received on the other side with open arms. Services will be held Saturday, September 22nd at 11:00 am at Creative Living Fellowship Church, 6530 N. 7th St., 602/906-4080. Donations in Joe's memory can be made to Hospice of the Valley, 1510 E. Flower St., Phoenix, AZ 85014 or to Creative Living Fellowship Church

So many memories..................

Life speaks to me in poems these days. This is a card I received today that really touched my heart.
"Imagine the beauty of it........
that moment when the soul
of a loved one
returns to the stars,
the voices whispering,
I remember you."
(thank you, Adrian!)

And then another received today from my sister,
"All the beautiful memories
gathered through the years
are yours to keep forever."

Thank goodness for the wonderful memories............ 37 years of them!

On Sunday Heidi came over and really helped me a lot. She cleaned my tile floors (no easy job) and vacuumed all carpeting and rugs. Then we went to Costco to buy needed supplies for the lunch after services on Saturday. It was a full and busy day, as I also went to church Sunday morning.
Today was a difficult day for me. After I finished taking the supplies to the church, I went to the mortuary to pick up Joe's ashes. I took the beautiful urn I had purchased on Saturday and they put some of his ashes into the urn and then sealed it.
I would like to express my feelings over that, but find it hard to do.
It was of course what I wanted, but hard to know it is done.
What I have now is memories and photos.

Just the opening and closing of a door.............

I think I am doing pretty good, but am beginning to wonder. I know none of us see ourselves as others see us. Tonight I got an email saying I sound confused. Well, sometimes I am, I guess. Makes me wonder if I am doing as well as I think I am.
I have been wearing since Monday the Safe Return bracelet Joe was wearing when he died. I noticed a couple days ago that on the back of the bracelet it says " I am mentally impaired".
I took the bracelet off tonight. I wore it for six days and am sure Joe would understand about me taking it off. (he might even get a good laugh out of it, and maybe he has!)
I did wonder a couple days ago what would happen if I were in an accident and they read that on the bracelet!

It has taken all week to make all the arrangements and do all the necessary things I needed and wanted to do. This morning I realized I was a bit worried about tonight as I had nothing to do and would be alone faced with doing nothing (except thinking). Two friends saved the day and night for me. The first one I inititated by calling my friend Belinda and going to her home this afernoon for a couple of hours. Just before I did that, my dear friend Theresa called me and said she was coming over and wanted to spend time with me. So she came over at 5:30 and we went to the Hole in the Wall restaurant at the Pointe resort and ate a fantastic dinner outside by the pool and waterfalls, and it was pleasant weather and very nice and refreshing experience. I had the best grilled salmon I have ever had and the atmosphere and company were WONDERFUL.
Then Theresa and I came back to my condo and we went to the pool for rest of evening until after 9;00. That was great too. We also did the jacuzzi and talked and talked. I was grateful for Theresa! I was thinking today how 14 years ago she was at my home right away and there for me the whole week when my son Frankie died, and now she has spent two days with me this week. What a special friend she is! And I am grateful! I count myself blessed that she is in my life. And she seems to know what I need without me saying a word.

I received the most wonderful letter and poem today (and a Unity booklet) from the very dear Rev. Flo Dibblee, who I have known many years. I would like to share it as it was perfect for her to send it to me (just as she knew it would be). She had a note on the back of the very bulky envelope , "this was as hard to wrap as a wooden spoon. Love you, Flo".
It made me wonder if she remembered the time at Christmas 2000, when I gave her a wooden spoon tied with a favorite recipe attached, and she told me later she said a prayer for me every time she looked at the spoon! I know I have to have the most amazing people in my life of anyone!

THE TRAVELER

by James Dillet Freeman

He has put on invisibility.

Dear Lord, I cannot see---

But this I know, although the road ascends

And passes from my sight,

That there will be no night;

That YOU will take him gently by the hand

And lead him on along the road of life that never ends,

And he will find it is not death but dawn.

I do not doubt that you are there as here,

And YOU will hold him dear.

Our life did not begin with birth,

It is not of the earth;

And this that we call death, it is no more then the opening and closing of a door--

And in Your house how many rooms must be,

Beyond this one were we rest momently.

Dear Lord, I thank you for the faith that frees,

The love that knows it cannot lose its own;

The love that, looking through the shadows, sees that You and he and I are one!

Thank you, my beloved Flo!

We Will Meet Again

The song chosen to end the memorial service, and oh how true it is.

We Will Meet Again lyrics
Artist Name - Oleta Adams
Song Lyrics - We Will Meet Again

You've gone away, left us today
For another place and time
With so much more to give, so much life to live
So much love you've left behind
That's what makes it hard for me
That what makes it so unfair
I only know that someday, somewhere
We will meet again,
We will meet again.

Though I must let you go
I know it's not the end
It may take a lifetime
But wait for me my love,
Cause I promise you
We will meet again.

Don't you cry, at least please try
I can hear you say to me.
So I'll be strong, I'll carry on
Cause I know that's how you'd want it to be.

And everytime I start missing
Not having you around
I'll just remember it's just so long for now.
We will meet again,
We will meet again.

Though I must let you go
I know it's not the end
It may take a lifetime
But wait for me my love,
Cause I promise you
We will meet again.

Now it seems like we're worlds apart
But we're connected at the heart,
Oh, there's still memories to be made,
And I won't be afraid,
No, I won't be afraid.
We will meet again,
We will meet again.

Though I must let you go
I know it's not the end
We will meet again,
We will meet again.
For I promise you,
We will meet again.

Joe's Going Home Celebration

The prayer bear is home with me

On Tuesday I went to the care home where Joe had been, and collected his clothing and belongings, and the prayer bear. The bear is sleeping with me now. The bear was always on Joe's chest, snuggled in his arms, or his head was resting on the bear. All day Saturday the bear was snuggled to left side of his head and that is where the little bear was when Joe died. I looked into the eyes of the little bear at bedtime, and the eyes seemed and felt real-it was almost like looking into Joe's eyes and was a very strange feeling. Also very comforting. Night time is when I grieve and "fall apart" and Tuesday night was the hardest with having the bear, but also I was glad to have the bear with me and held it in my arms. The absolute most difficult thing I had to do was when I walked into his room and saw the empty bed. I had thought about it in advance and tried to prepare myself for that. Maybe I did some, but it was still difficult.

My friend Arlene told me that when her husband, Tom died a few years ago, that even with his body still in the room, she knew he was gone and only the body was left. She said her son Gary said it best, "It was as if Tom had left his overcoat on the bed and walked away." I kept remembering that when I was at the funeral home and knew his body was just in another room. I knew he was not in that room, but he was right with me, and always would be as long as I needed him to be.

Tuesday night when I was in the pool doing my water exercises, I looked up to the stars and cried, and thought of this poem.

"In one of the stars

I shall be living

In one of them

I shall be laughing

And so it will be

As if all the stars

Were laughing

When you look

At the sky at night."

(from the Little Prince)

I will always watch for Joe in the stars and think of him when I look at them.

Sad and tiring day, but still many blessings too

It is amazing to me- with all "seemingly bad" things, that in our hearts we often know are not bad at all, comes the same abundance of blessings and good. And really, it is all good whether it appears that way or not. So many blessings this week, along with the sadness and pain.

Today I met with the mortuary and got everything chosen and done there. Lots of decisions to be made. Took much longer than I had expected as I already had our funerals prepaid. My parents were good examples and I was taught to do that and we did that for Joe's mom too. Several years ago I paid for both of our memorials and decided then what we would have, and do, and even paid for flowers and other items. I only paid $175.00 back then for the obituary in paper, and I guess that was the going rate then. But the obituary today I had written cost about $600.00, and that was with a photo and about 45 lines, which the paper probably saw as 90 lines. (theirs are shorter than Microsoft Word's!) I chose the flowers for Joe's service also and made many other decisions. I asked them to remove the bracelet from his arm, and it is now on my arm. I was able to "stuff" my emotions today and do what needed to be done, until then, and that was my hardest moment today. But I am glad I have the bracelet now that was on his arm when he died.

Today I also met with Tammy, operations manager at my church. She has the warmest and kindest heart and is so loving and caring. We planned and selected everything needed for the memorial service and the lunch following the service. It was her day off, but she came in and did all of this with me. Pretty amazing. She made fantastic suggestions and was so helpful. She is going to compile the Louis Jordan songs I want played and record all on one CD to make it easier to play for the service. I also met with Lonnie and he is doing a layout of the program online and then sending it to Kinko's to be printed for me. So many blessings from the heart!

I went to Bamboo Hut at noon and met my dear friend Kathy W. for lunch and we spent a long time going over my Emerson "thesis" that she has proofed for me, but done way more than that. She made an outline and has listed how the paper has to be rearranged to not only fit the outline but finally be in the order it should be. She also made many suggestions and gave me more ideas, and even had ideas for the conclusion, which I knew was not as it should be. She then went through the list of questions the school had listed that the paper had to answer (I had ignored this) and told me the changes and form it all had to take to fulfill that requirement. There is far more than this that she did and I cannot even list it all, it was overwhelming all she has done. Truly amazing! I hope/plan to get this paper redone and changed and as it should be by the end of September, I need to be busy and this will keep me busy once the memorial is over, company has left, and I am alone. I have learned what I need to do, and that is too be busy, so I have plenty planned to fill that need. I start a new class in October also. I also go to see my one year old granddaughter, Emma Ruth, in October, and my five year old grandson, Isaac, and my 17 year old grandson Zachary. I am thankful for my family in Illinois and my family here. Trevor called me yesterday checking on me and said he was worried about me. I am a truly blessed soul.

Life goes on. I am sad and in pain. I hurt deep inside. I have never loved anyone like I have loved Joe. I am going to miss him. But he would not want me to stop living too. I am doing my best to do what he would want me to do.

Joe left peacefully today

My beloved husband made his transition this morning around 7:00 am.

He died in his sleep.

Keep me in your prayers.

love, ruth

Another concert for Joe and more

The update on Joe is that he seems to have aspiration pneumonia and has had a low grade fever for past two days of 99-100, and this will probably continue. His lungs are quite congested and he seems to do more choking and coughing each day. He did not eat today (and only a couple bites yesterday) and even choked on water sometimes today. I spent six hours with him today and am now going every day and spending as much time there as possible. The new home's hours cut off at 7:00 pm, so I leave by or before that time. If there are any changes during night, she will call me.

This afternoon Rev. Mitzi came to see Joe and brought two singers with her- Merilee (who I had not met before), and Jessica (who I heard sing at a concert at my church recently). Merilee sang two beautiful songs I did not know. Jessica sang "When I Fall in Love" and made us all cry,
and also sang "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" and "Unforgettable" (Nat King Cole).
Then Merilee and Jessica sang acapella together, "Amazing Grace", one of Joe's favorites, and made us all cry again. They both said they felt honored to be there.
Then Rev. Mitzi performed an anointing service for Joe, It was absolutely beautiful. She anointed and blessed his brain (his thoughts), his eyes, his lips, his legs and feet, which will soon walk with the Divine. She blessed all his body (and thanked it and each part of it), for how they helped him through out his lifetime on this earth, and had served him well. Then did a blessing of giving him permission to go when he is ready, and then asked me to give him permission and say something to him too. It was a moving and beautiful ceremony.

I am so grateful for Mitzi. I would be there alone without her. She has been there with Joe and me, many times and is on call 24/7 to me, to talk or pray. I really do not know what I would have done without her, since I have no one else to be there for me. I have many friends, but all are busy with their own lives, and are not on call to me, or could come right away. All I have to do is call and she is there. It has meant so much to me, more than I can begin to express. Last Thursday night when this began, I talked to her three times. I have no one else who fills her shoes. She even said I could call her at any time or any hour, and I know she means it. I am forever grateful.

An important day

I started this online journal one year ago. I was looking back at what I had written in September 2006 when Joe first entered a care home. I saw this statement I wrote on September 25th last year, and knew how much it held true for today as well.

"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day"....Alexander Woolcot, American writer, died 1943. I was thinking not much to write about today and then realized that was not true. Every day we live is important. So this is about my day, and my visit to Joe.

Yesterday things changed with Joe, and I got several calls in the afternoon that he was not feeling well and had an elevated temperature. It was 101 at about 3:30 and by 6:00 when I called it had risen to 103. Not good. I left and went to see him and stayed until 9:30 last night.
They are giving him Tylenol, and I had several talks with the hospice nurse, and by the time I left it had dropped a bit. I talked to his caregiver this morning and the temperature was still going up and down but was at 100 when I called. I plan to go see him shortly.

I spent all of yesterday morning searching microfiche at the downtown County Recorder's office.
Have been very actively involved with the VA getting information they need, searching for it, calling people, going to the VA office, and so on. This was also spurred into action by my turning Joe's file over to John McCain's office in Phoenix. It turns out there is one gentleman in his office who works only on veterans issues, so he was the one who reviewed the file and contacted VA. I learned several things I did not know until this week, as to requirements we thought we had met (providing information) that we still need to provide. Hopefully, soon this can now all get approved and Joe can receive some disability pension benefits. It has been a very, very busy past two days working on this and getting it all together, but it is exhilarating to know you found what is needed after hours of searching. (thank you Brigitte and Ben for your guidance)

My longtime friend, Marian, came from the Cottonwood/Sedona area to Phoenix for the day yesterday and spent four hours with me yesterday afternoon talking and getting caught up on each other's news and happenings. We had a wonderful visit. I had not seen her for several years. She and her husband Gary are very busy with the retreat they own, which is a wonderful place called Western Spirit Center and Retreat. www.westernspiritranch.com
I first met Marian and Gary at Unity Church many years ago. It was wonderful having this lovely afternoon with Marian. I give thanks every day for the wonderful friends in my life.

Rev. Mitzi was there for me and for Joe today also. I talked to her several times on the phone last evening and she volunteered to come see Joe, but it was late and didn't want her to, so she prayed with me on the phone. I talked to her again after I got home last night. Am so thankful for her love, care, concern, and prayers. Her words to me when I was with Joe last night were such a blessing, "Ruth, you are not alone in this."

Just another plug for Marian's retreat also: (check it out)
Western Spirit Enrichment Center, Inc.
(An Arizona non-profit corporation)
1-866-ONESPIRIT (663-7747)
P.O. Box 386
Sedona, AZ 86339-0386
info@westernspiritranch.com

Private concert for Joe

Orgena Rose, a talented singer and songwriter, who often sings at my church, did a private concert for Joe in his room today. Dr. Rev. Mitzi Lynton asked Orgena to sing for Joe and sing she did! She sang several songs for him and even got a number of smiles from him. I know Joe loved it. When she was done, he told her "thank you".
These are photos of Orgena and Rev. Mitzi, and even a picture of Mitzi kissing Joe and getting a real big smile from him. These were the first smiles from Joe I have seen in over a week, so that made me very happy too. Thank you Mitzi and Orgena. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for bringing your happiness and joy into Joe's room! God bless you both!

Life is incredible...any way you look at it.

So much happens in my life, I can hardly keep up with it. I have never had a boring, uneventful life, and for me that is a good thing. The most wonderful thing happened today as well. I knew the answer to my daily prayers would come, it always does.
Yesterday I had lunch with three friends at Auntchiladas- three sisters, Ruthie, Jan,and Sharon. Sharon asked me (or started to ask me) how things were going with the VA and Joe, and I answered her before she could say the words. She said, "how did you know that is what I was going to say?", and all I knew was that I just knew.
I told her nothing had happened but I was actively pursuing getting a letter about this in John McCain's hands, or really into the hands of someone in his office, who could get it to him. I had gotten a wrong address from the internet and my letter came back this past Friday afternoon. And the email sent two weeks ago had not been answered. I said I had found a new address and was going to drive to it on Tuesday (today). This morning Ruthie called and said she had not said anything yesterday as she did not know what she could do, but she had called McCain's Phoenix office and knows the woman who runs the office, and she talked to her and told her my story.
The end result here is that I put together a file of everything that had been done so far on this case, and I took it to John McCain's office, and met with the wonderful lady and handed her all my information. They have a gentleman in that office who only works on veteran's issues and she will turn my file over to him. She said I would receive a letter from John McCain saying they were working on it, and I would be notified as soon as they know anything on the case. I am asking everyone I know and don't know, to lift this up in your prayers and ask for intervention from McCain's office to get positive results with the VA in Joe's benefits case. The case was filed last October 31, 2006, so it has been 10 months in its process, and it is now time for action, positive action, to be taken. I am eternally grateful for this opportunity and this answer to prayer, and so grateful for being able to hand over the information on Joe's case today to a real live, wonderful person! Thank you Ruthie! And thank you Sharon for asking the question yesterday! Life is good.

My favorite photos for the week (from my life)

Emma Ruth (my one year old granddaughter) with her first new walking shoes on (she's mad at being set upon the pigs!), and Joe's "prayer bear" blessed by friends from Creative Living Fellowship (our church) and given to Joe by Rev. Mitzi. The bear sleeps with him all the time and is in his arms or lying nearby every time I go to see him. It is so soft and cuddly, how could anyone not love it? Thank you, CLF!

"My Pool"

This feels like my private pool. Most of the time I am the only one in it. At the beginning of July ist I began exercising in the evening. After the monsoon summer storms started, I switched to mornings. Lately have been alternating mornings and evenings. I love evenings the best. I go to the pool about 8:00 and it is rare anyone else is in the pool. I can't handle the sun, so make sure I am always in the pool when it is shaded, and it is by 6:00 pm and as late as 9:00 am.
This pool brings me such joy. Ever since I began exercising in the pool for 30-45 minutes 3-5 times a week, all my pain is gone. Lately, I have even been able to get rid of the neck pain I have had for many months. My massage therapist says the difference is amazing, and it really is. The water takes all joint pain away! I have gotten rid of hip pain, knee pain, and little pains here and there, and it is so wonderful. I LOVE the pool!! I feel so blessed and so grateful to have this wonderful pool that I can use anytime I want to! Yea!!!! Thank you, thank you!!!!!!!!
This evening it was at least 100 degrees outside (or more), but the water was perfect and there was a constant breeze, and it was perfect and felt perfect. When I got out of the pool I was cool- and I instantly had my 70 degree weather (that is what it felt like). Who needs anything else or to be anywhere else? I am so grateful for my beautiful condo and this pool that goes with it-feels like living in the lap of luxury to me and I LOVE it!!!

Summertime...and the days are ...hot-what else?

This from Phoenix news:
We did it. At 12:40 p.m. Wednesday, we broke the record for the most days at or above 110 degrees in a given year: 29.
The good news: The National Weather Service forecast for the end of the week calls for temperatures staying below 110.
As I write this it is 110 degrees. But I am cool as a cucumber and could care less.
It is odd, even I complain about the Phoenix heat in August- can't ever remember a year in the 40 summers I have been here that I haven't complained. Oh, maybe the first summer, or even the second. It never seemed that bad to me then and I couldn't understand why people got cold here in the winter. I have never worn a winter coat in Arizona, but then who does? That's the part that keeps you here! No snow, no ice, no scraping ice from icy windshields, not any of that stuff- thank goodness!
But this year is different too. I doubt I have complained this summer, or this August at all. In fact, the three summer months (ending as of Aug. 31st, tomorrow) have gone by in a blip to me. I can't believe we have had summer and I have never noticed. I was not aware of the heat this year until I heard people complaining, and then I did pause and wonder why.
I think when you have worse problems, the heat does not get noticed. It is the only explanation I can come up with. I never even know it is that hot, or what the temperature is, until I hear it on radio or TV or someone tells me, and everyone knows I don't read the paper anymore or watch TV much, and it is a rare, rare day I even know what the news is.
I guess I focused more on that stuff when I had no real problems to focus on.
To me, this summer went by in a blink of my eye, and the weather was fine.

Now, on to other matters of more importance, at least to me. I saw Joe today at noon, as I have realized the only times he might be awake is when they wake him to eat meals, of which he eats very little. He was half awake and did have his eyes open most of the time I was there. I was glad I went at noon, as his nurse from hospice came and I was able to talk to her and spend time there when she was with
Joe. His mouth was very dry. She says that may be why we can't understand his words, as his mouth and tongue were very dry. I did buy a "sippy" cup this afternoon and a small bottle with short attached straw and hope this will help him swallow more fluids. He has forgotten how to use a straw most of the time, and the liquid runs down his chin if he doesn't swallow what is given to him. He is about the same, not so grumpy today at least, but never smiled. His caregiver, Donna, said he did know his own name today when she asked him, and clearly said it to her, so that was good. Usually he doesn't know what his name is. Not sure he knew me today but think he did. And that is life and what matters for today.

Even a chocolate cream pie didn't help!

I was told today that Joe woke up unhappy. This is rare for him. He is usually always in a good mood. I have not seen him like this before. He did not really want to eat much today and refused food this morning. He has been just plain grumpy the entire day.
I bought his favorite chocolate cream pie at Marie Callender's and took to him. He ate a small piece of it- didn't refuse it that is for sure, but never smiled. Afterwards I asked him if he liked the pie, and he said (in a not very happy tone), "it was all right." Not his usual reaction to chocolate cream pie.
He never smiled, never said he loved me today, and was generally in a very bad mood.
I did feed him a small amount of mashed potatoes and gravy before the pie, but he did not eat very much at all. He was thirsty so I gave him some cranberry juice. He would only open his mouth a tiny bit and I could not get the food in his mouth. I asked him to please open his mouth more, and he tried to hit me! Now that was a surprise. Not a good day.
He never understood it was our anniversary and never understood the reason I brought the pie, and never grasped anything really. He was definitely in another world today.

He did talk some but it was mostly his lips moving and no sound or little sound, so you never know what he is saying. And he did lots of moving his arms in the air, and doing all the strange things with his hands and arms that he has been doing for weeks.
I watched the news on the TV in his room and when he fell asleep, I left.
Let's hope tomorrow will be happier for him.

Happy 37th anniversary

THIRTY SEVEN YEARS WITH JOE

August 28, 2007 is our 37th wedding anniversary.
We were married in 1970 in Las Vegas at the Wedding Chapel on the Strip.
Yep! That’s the truth! Only wedding photos taken were by a camera someone
at the wedding chapel had, and I was handed the roll of film so I could develop
it when we got home. Yes, we stood in line at city hall downtown to get our marriage
license, then drove back to the motel, got dressed to be married, and drove to the
wedding chapel. Our witnesses were people we did not know. Who would think
such an unlikely situation would produce 37 years of marriage? No one probably.
We had both been married more than once before. It was an inter-racial marriage, so no one thought it would last. I think that just made us try harder and work
harder at the marriage. We were determined to show them all that we could make it! And we did! The first year we celebrated our anniversary every month. I remember on September 28th, Joe said to me, “well we showed them! We’ve been married a month!” Marriage at its best is not easy. You have to want it and you have to work at it, and in the end it is always worth doing that.-At least it was for us.
Most people give up at the first sign of trouble anymore. We survived lots of “troubles” and also lots of happiness, joy, and fun. Today is bittersweet. I know it will be the last anniversary we have together, and Joe does not even know it is our anniversary. We have always (even last year) gone out to dinner and celebrated our anniversary. He has always bought me a card and given me flowers. Twice we have celebrated with a week at Lake Tahoe. So there are lots of good memories, and I am thankful for that. To tell the truth, I am thankful for the whole” enchilada”- the entire 37 years, and I know Joe is too. Even though he doesn’t always recognize me at first anymore, and can’t remember my name, I know who I am, and I know who he is. Almost every time I see him, he tells me he loves me. Even this past Sunday evening,-two days ago. Joe’s lifetime friends have told me I am the best thing that ever happened to Joe, but I know he was the best thing that ever happened to me.

A day of good fortunes

This morning driving to my chiropractor and then lunch, I listened to my newly received CD set from Wayne Dyer, on his new book, "Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life". I listened to CD side 1 yesterday and had such a major insight from it, that I knew if it was the only one I received, the cost of the CD's was worth it. I also decided to listen to CD 1 several times before moving on to the second CD of the 6 CD set. Today only a few minutes of listening and I heard something I did not hear yesterday, and I yelled, and stopped the CD- pulling to side of road to write it down. It brought tears to my eyes. That statement from Wayne Dyer was, "In misfortune, fortune hides." Just another way to say "it's all Good", but in a way that actually said even more to me, and was especially appropriate from all I am going through right now on my life journey. We are only on plant earth to grow, learn, and change- so of course, this set of CD's was a must-have for me. With everything that is going on right now for me, I am amazed daily and constantly in the wonderful things also happening to me.
I saw my chiropractor today and it was a free adjustment for me as a "happy birthday gift", and then on to lunch at Macaroni Grill for a birthday lunch for me from my longtime friend, Bette. I had the most incredible lunch and we had a nice visit- oh, I had the grilled scallops and spinach salad- so wonderful!! It is my new favorite at Macaroni Grill!
Then had a phone call from Rev. Mitzi and I met her at Joe's care home right after lunch. Had a wonderful visit with her. Joe was sound asleep and would not wake up, so we let him sleep. I kissed him and that usually wakes him up, but it didn't today.
Mitzi also spent some time alone with Joe, so I could talk to the social worker.
Joe's new hospice social work arrived and I spent way over an hour talking to her. Her name is Diana Bolls and she is superb! Every person who works for Hospice of the Valley that I have met, is a special person- it takes a special angel to work for hospice, and that is what Diana is. She told me I could not have a better home or caregiver for Joe than the one he is in. Donna brewed fresh coffee for us and she knows I love sugar-free French Vanilla cream, and always serves that to me in my coffee. When I left, Donna also handed me a container for my dinner- it was a delicious pasta dish with olive oil, red peppers, feta cheese, olives and artichokes in it! So I was gifted not only with lunch today, but my dinner also!

This is what I want!

This was sent to me today by a wonderful friend and it is way too perfect, and have to share it!

My Next Life...

I want to live my next life backwards!

You start out dead and get that out of the way right

off the bat. Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better

every day. When you get kicked out of the home for being too

healthy. You spend several years enjoying your retirement and

collecting benefit checks.

Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years or so, getting younger every day until pretty soon you're

too young to work.

So you go to high school: play sports, date, drink, and party.

As you get even younger, you become a kid again.

You go to elementary school, you play, and have no responsibilities.

In a few years you become a baby and everyone runs themselves ragged keeping you happy.

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury spa-like conditions: central heating, room service on tap.

Until finally . . .. . . You finish off as an orgasm.

A kick in the stomach

"A kick in the stomach", that is what Dr. Gary Martin (leader of the Alzheimer support group I attend) said to me yesterday when I told him Joe did not know my name twice this week when I went to see him. He has been working with dementia patients & training people to care for them, for 27 years, and he knows. I love it when someone like him looks right into my eyes, and knows my pain- sees it and feels it, and knows the right words to say. It is a real jolt of new pain when your husband does not know you, or know your name. After I tell him, then he seems to know and remember. I don't think he knows his own name anymore either.
But as Rev. Mitzi said to me last night, on some level he still knows you because he is getting mad at you. He got mad at me twice last evening. I am the only one he does that to, and it is because he knows he can do that with me and it is safe. We always know the people we can do that and get away with it, because they knows us and care about us, and we can't destroy what we have with them, just because we get mad at them. So Joe does seem to still know that.
But as the experts tell me, he is detaching. He has to detach, that is part of the process. So as sad as it is, it is all good and necessary.
Tomorrow I meet with his new hospice social worker and then later in afternoon Rev. Mitzi is coming to see Joe again and bringing Orgena Rose, a black jazz singer and beautiful songwriter and singer, to sing for Joe. I sure want to be there for that. She sings at my church and I know she is good and Joe will love her singing to him.

New friends & dinner at North Restaurant

This evening I met Patti DeLucia who lives near Boston, Massachusetts. We have been emailing each other for a few months in a fitness/weight/health online group that Marian Carol created- there are 5 of us who write each other as a group each week. Patti and her niece, Denise and Denise's fiancee, Edson, were in Arizona for a vacation this week. They have been in Sedona all week, taking side trips to Monument Valley and other places, and are flying back to Boston tomorrow. Patti emailed me and said she would like to treat me for my birthday and asked me to have dinner with the three of them at North Restaurant in Kierland Commons (in Scottsdale). What a wonderful and fun evening we shared! Great food, great conversations, lots of fun and laughing-just getting to know each other. Edson is from Brazil and has the most beautiful smile. Denise teaches high school history. I fell in love with all of them and we hugged and hugged when we had to part company. It was a very special night, and one we will all remember. Patti works for the carpenter's union and was happy to leave Boston and get away form the high humidity, and loves the dryness of Arizona.
The heat factor was not a big concern for her as she so wanted to get away from high humidity- she said it had been 101 degrees in Boston with the humidity almost the same as the temperature. I know I wouldn't like that either. It was great to hear all their stories and all about her large family- brothers, and 8 nieces and nephews. So fun to meet new people and create new friendships- I loved it all.

First Day of KIndergarten!

My five year old grandson Isaac in Illinois on his first day of kindergarten-today!
Thank goodness for the Internet and instant pics of these major events on the day they happen!

Life is Eternal

***************************

Joe had a wonderful visitor Monday evening. His visitor was Rev. Dr. Mitzi Lynton, who is from my church, Creative Living Fellowship. The photos on this page are of her. Her website is: www.dare2create.com
I recommend you check it out. She called me yesterday afternoon and wanted to visit Joe. We met at his home an hour or so later. Mitzi was born in London, England and has been in Phoenix since 1995. I think Joe was entranced by her British accent and her voice and her smile. I also think she fell in love with him as much as he fell in love with her. She was so wonderful with him, talked to him so gently and sweetly, and his eyes never left her face. She asked if he wanted her to come back and visit him again and he said "yes". Then later she told him she had to leave but she would see him often and soon, and he said "don't leave town"! We laughed over that and he said to her, "I made a funny". She prayed with him and was holding both his hands and he did not want to let go. He really enjoyed her visit and she was wonderful. I am so thankful she visited him, and I was very happy with the caring and loving way she was with him. He really enjoyed it too. The song by Carly Simon is from Mitzi's website. Thanks so much Mitzi and God bless!

Life is eternal
And love is immortal
And death is only a horizon.

Life is eternal
As we move into the light
And a horizon is nothing
Save the limit of our sight.


I had a phone call today from our new Hospice social worker, Diana. I am meeting her on Friday afternoon at Joe's care home. I have loved every nurse, volunteer, CNA, and social worker that I have met at Hospice of the Valley, and know they have to be angels on this earth. Diana sounds as incredible as rest I have met and can hardly wait to meet her. Joe could not be in better hands than he is right now, unless he was in God's hands, and we know he is anyway. Every contact I have had with Hospice of the Valley and every person who works there, has been amazing, loving, and unbelievable. Also, Donna and Peter Pekurar, his new caregivers are angels on this earth also. I am blessed and so is Joe to have all these wonderful souls in our lives.
Today I saw my Heart Care P.A. and my BP was 128/82 and my pulse 60. It is amazing how good my health is, even though my emotions and mental state have been quite unbalanced at times. Even though I am doing my exercises in the pool and eating right, I have not been able to lose anymore weight. She told me because of the stress levels I have, my cortisol is high and I probably will not lose any weight until this intense stress is gone from my life. My body is holding on to the weight. So just hang in there, keep doing what I am doing, and it will eventually all be ok.
After leaving the Dr. office, I headed for Borders Cafe and spent this afernoon doing class work- my current class is the History of Judaism, so read my book (some of it) and answered several pages in my workbook. I hope to complete this class before the end of August, so I can work on my paper for my degree all of September. Life goes on, and my classes and reading keep my mind distracted and occupied with things other than what is going on with Joe. I am blessed.

Brooke Astor

Brooke Astor (March 30, 1902 – August 13, 2007) was an American philanthropist and socialite who was the chairwoman of the Vincent Astor Foundation, which had been established by her third husband. She was also a novelist and wrote two volumes of memoirs.

From Heidi this morning:

I couldn't remember when we were having dinner what Ms. Astor's first name was....I knew it was a B name. I thought Blythe, but knew that wasn't right. At about 3:30 a.m. it came to me. Her name was Brooke Astor, and it was either her father (probably not grandfather) than was the very wealthy man who drowned on the Titanic.

Just think, no one really knows what "so, you think your Ms. Astor?" means but a privileged few....

The story behind all this:
My mother and grandmother used to say the expression "oh, she thinks she's Ms. Astor!" all the time and especially if anyone was being what they thought was "uppity". These hundreds of old expressions I heard all through my growing up years in Oklahoma, are all stored in my brain, and when they pop out and I actually say them I am stunned and wonder where that came from! This happened at dinner last night. I was telling Heidi that Emma Ruth was walking all be herself (and very proud of herself too!) and I said "she thinks she's Ms. Astor!"-just meaning she is highly impressed with what she is doing and very proud of doing it! Everyone started laughing and I was shocked I had used that old expression. Heidi then told a story of how when she was 18 and had her first real job, and got her first credit card- she went to Goldwater's and bought all these things. When she brought them home to show me, I said to her "who do you think you are, Ms. Astor?"

Of course, I do not remember this but Heidi swears it happened and I am sure it did.
Trevor is cracking up and says "who is Ms. Astor?"
He claims he had never ever heard me say that before. I think Jimmy said Heidi had said it once, as we tend to use the old expressions our mom's used without even realizing it sometimes. Funny, how this old stuff is stored in the brain and surprises one when it suddenly appears.
I told Heidi today anyone as old as me will probably remember the expression and certainly know who Ms. Astor was!
Anyway, it was the source of much laughing last evening and I am still laughing about it today. Laughter is the best medicine, so it is all good.

My grand-baby Emma

I always knew Heidi was a writer, but Deidre has proved herself my child also. (ha)
Already knew Deidre had more of my traits than she probably wished she had, but here is one more added to the list. Now have two daughters who are writers- I told Deidre she is "blog" potential! I love this that Deidre wrote and sent to me this morning.

My baby Emma is walking! I thought about how incredible
it really is that I get to be a part of this. Those beautiful little
legs of hers will be the same legs that she walks to her first
day of school with, that she walks to pick up her diploma,
down the aisle at her wedding, into the hospital one day to
go see her own grandchildren. I have cherished this moment
with my two baby boys as well, but it is different with Emma,
because I know this will be the last time I get to be a part of one
of my very own little babies walking for the first time. Everyone
says "You will always be my baby" but for my entire life when I
see her walking around as a grown women with those same
legs, I will truly see her as my little baby girl and remember how
I could hear those tiny precious bare feet smacking down on
the hard wood floor coming around the corner and watching
her as I bent down, with her huge smile and her arms stretched
out as far as she could get them, running into my arms on a
regular day in the middle of August 2007.

Heidi and Ruth's birthday celebration

This evening I met Heidi, Jimmy, and Trevor at Grimaldi's in downtown Scottsdale and we finally celebrated Heidi's and my birthdays. I had never been to Grimaldi's and loved it-fantastic place and fantastic food. Heidi and I had most of a ricotta and tomatoes pizza- cooked in those wonderful coal fired ovens and thin, thin crusts. Delicious. Also had a great house salad. Jimmy and Trevor shared a pepperoni pizza.
The atmosphere is wonderful and it was a fun evening. We had a lot of good laughs and everyone was in a happy mood.
This morning I went to church and really enjoyed this day. It is the first day in 7 weeks I have not seen Joe or fed him. I just had to take a break, and am only going to go see him every other day for awhile.

I also enrolled in a new class that begins October 2nd through November 20th. My class is INWARD JOURNEY,IN-DEPTH SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT and is term 1 of 3 (24 of 90 hours), and is the beginning of my classes for licensed spiritual practitioner.

I also signed up to be a vendor at the Holistic Intuitive Festival on October 27th.
This is going to be a great all day event at Creative Living Fellowship, so add this to your list of events to attend. I plan to have a table to teach and inform people about Healing Clay Therapy. I will give out information, clay samples, and have clay to sell. This will be a festival offering many healing modalities and services.

This was really a good day and I enjoyed every minute of it.

Happy Birthday Heidi!

Happy, Happy 47th birthday, Heidi!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you happiness and send you love.
Mom

The rest of my Saturday was very sad

Even though the blog below this one is a happy blog, my morning was very sad.
This morning I attended the funeral services for my friend Carmen Gress. Carmen was my neighbor on 17th Place, the house we lived in before moving to the condo in early 2006. I have known Carmen since 1996, and we did many lunches, and shopping, and talking in those years. She was an expert professional seamstress and made many things for me, pillows, drapes, bed skirts, tablecloths, napkins, and altered a jillion things for me, and the list goes on and on. But here is my favorite Carmen story- when I was in hospital in 2002, for my second knee replacement, I was showered with gifts and flowers and visits from friends. Carmen came to see me all 5 days I was in the hospital and what she brought me was CARMEX lip balm. I have never used anything else since. I cannot be without it. It was my favorite gift and the one I needed most. My lips were so dry and cracked and parched from being out cold from 7 hours of anesthesia sleep, and the lip balm was exactly what I needed most and what only Carmen knew to bring. Thank you Carmen!
I hit Savers many times with Carmen. I was looking for bargains for myself, and Carmen was looking for bargains for anyone she knew who was "in need", or for a friend or relative. Never knew her to buy anything for herself. She made all her own clothes and they were exquisite. Also, since she wore "child sizes", she had to make her own clothes for them to fit her. She was the tiniest person I have ever known.
The service this morning was a wonderful tribute to her and there were at least 300 people in attendance! The luncheon following services at Auntchiladas, was wonderful also, and a huge room was reserved for all her family and friends. Richard you did a great job and paid perfect respect and tribute to Carmen! Well done!
Carmen was born Janaury 15, 1940 and died on August 12, 2007. Just 3-4 days before she died, I received a birthday card from Carmen and Richard. Amazing! Some well and functioning people can't remember anyone's birthday, but Carmen was dying and yet she remembered! I will miss you, Carmen. But am oh so happy to know you are whole, well, and free in spirit, and no more pain and chemo!

Visit with Monique and Denysia

I remember the day Denysia was born. Monique and I worked together at APS, and on my lunch hour I went to the hospital so I could see newborn Denysia! Joe and I were one of her god-parents. Can it be this was 14 years ago? Yes, am afraid that is so. Denysia was 14 this past spring! I have known Monique for 16 years. They came to visit me today and then we all went to see and visit Joe. Had a wonderful afternoon with them and it was great to get caught up on all our "doings" and news.
When I began working at APS in Accounting in 1991, APS had just had a huge layoff, and the mood was not good there. No one was very nice to me, a new person hired when so many of their friends were layed off. The only person who was nice to me and became my friend was Monique. I will never forget that. Even though I have had to try and forget that in 1991 she referred to me as "elderly". Wow! And that was 16 years ago and I was not real happy to hear her say that in reference to me, and probably wouldn't like being called elderly today either! I have forgiven you Monique, as realized as young as you are (the age of my youngest daughter Deidre, in fact) I may have seem old to you! Fooled you, huh? Love you Monique, and Denysia too and glad you are both in my life.

Some photos of Joe

Cano and Joe, taken last week at the Hospice of the Valley unit in Scottsdale.
Rest of photos are at Joe's new care home in Scottsdale, near Sweetwater and Scottsdale Road. As you can see, Joe has lost a lot of weight. He did eat real well this evening, as I fed him dinner at his new home. Donna is a great cook, and the food was very good. I think her cooking may spark his appetite a bit. Today he was slightly better than yesterday. He talked a lot, but most of it I could not understand.

Today was Joe's second day at his new home and it was not a good day for him. He was hallucinating most of the day. This morning he told Donna there was a bird in his room. He is once again reaching out with his arms for something, and constantly moving his hands and fngers and doing various things in the air all the time. Donna said he ate a scrambled egg and sour cream for breakfast and for lunch some sweet potato casserole. Of course, he liked the casserole as am sure it reminded him of his favorite pies-sweet potato pies. I fed him some pudding this afternoon also.
But he was "out of it" all this day and not able to verbalize or say anything to us really. What he did say, you could not understand. At first I was not sure he knew me. I asked him if he knew me and he shook his head no. I then said "I am Ruth- your wife", and then he sort of smiled and he knew who I was. Heidi had been to see him around noon, and she had told me that she could not talk to him or with him today.
She was right, and neither could I. I took some photos of his new home but have not been able to post them so far.
Today after staying with Joe for an hour, I did get a massage,and it felt really good.
But I do feel really tired tonight. I also finished classwork (typing up my workbook pages of questions I had answered) and got one more class finished and in the mail. This class was called Awakening the Mystic Within, and was a very good class.

Thursday- Day of Joe's move

The first thing I had to do today was go for my 6-month appointment with my oncologist. At my last appointment on January 31st. Rachel, the P.A. asked me how I was and I said "absolutely great-nothing wrong with me!" I was dreading seeing her today and vowed I would not answer how I was if she asked me. In January she discovered I had a heart rate of 300 and sent me directly for an EKG , and I was then sent to heart specialist. Have been on coumadin and heart meds ever since. Today I was hesitant but all my vitals and blood testing done today turned out great-in fact my heart rate was a wonderful 74 today and that made her happy (me too). Then she did a breast exam and was not happy with that especially, so now I have to go for a mammogram. I wasn't scheduled for my next one until January, but that all got changed today. Am asking everyone I know (me too) to affirm I am whole, well, complete, and have perfect health in every way.

Leaving there I headed to the hospice unit where Joe was, and at 1:30 pm the transport arrived in the "ambulette" (isn't that a cute name?) and took Joe to his new care home. Everyone at hospice was sad to see Joe leave but glad he was better and COULD leave. And by "better" we mean better than he was the day he arrived at hospice. He is of course, much worse than he was a month ago. But he is eating and today he was in good form. In fact, one nurse told me that when she went in to see him this morning he said "where have you been?" and when she told him, he said "you only need to take care of me". So he was talking today and expressing himself well at times.

When we arrived at his new home and the transport driver got him into his bed in his room, then the owner, Donna, came in and asked him if he wanted some juice and introduced herself to him and told him she would be taking care of him. After she left the room to get his juice, he said to me, "do you know these people?".
I am still laughing over that!! I then once again explained to him that yes, I knew them and I had met them this week when I had been hunting a home for him, and that they were very nice people and he was going to like them. He just said "OK".

About 10 minutes later our previous hospice social worker, Samantha, arrived to check on Joe and see if he was in his new home and all right, and she had with her his NEW hospice nurse, Karen, who I have already realized is wonderful. She spent time with Joe, reviewed his meds,and said she had seen Joe before at his other home when she visited there a couple times with Millie, his previous hospice nurse. So she already sort of knew him and knew how much Millie liked him too. Hospice is now taking care of all his meds and having them delivered to the home. They also provided him with a hospital bed with side rails and of course, had already provided him with his wheelchair. The wheelchair had gotten misplaced and gone to wrong place, and I spent 2 hours getting it and returning it to the home. So did not get to go to my cancer support group dinner tonight, but it is ok-am too tired now to go anywhere. It's done and over with now, and we move forward. It feels good to have him in this home, and I feel I can trust these people to care for him just as I want him cared for. That is very important to me.
Another new chapter has begun.

Joe's scheduled move......

It has been almost 4 weeks (on Saturday) since Joe's drastic changes and 4 weeks of feeding him every day, sometimes twice a day, and since my life really changed once again. Now with Joe moving back to another care home tomorrow, I hope that by next week I can start getting back to normal for me. Normal for me is exercising in the pool 4-5 times a week, and reading and doing class work for my Bachelors degree. I am almost done with my requirements, but had to stop everything this past four weeks. I know me, and I couldn't do classwork and reading, and care for Joe the way I wanted to. So I put the school work aside and feel this coming week I can begin to do my normal thing again. I plan to go feed him dinner tonight, since I had to miss his lunch because I had a dental appointment. I have an oncologist appt. at 11:00 tomorrow so may or may not get there for his lunch but will go after my appointment. The move to his new home is scheduled for between 1:00-2:00 Thursday (tomorrow) afternoon. Hospice send an ambulance to pick him up and I will follow the ambulance just as I did when he went to hospice on July 30th. He will have been in hospice about 17 days.
I did get to the pool this morning and spent 30 minutes exercising, and that felt good. I feel so much better when I do this.
The name of Joe's new home is Compass Rose, 6835 E. Pershing. The phone number is 602-699-5141. It is only 3-4 blocks from the Villa on Sweetwater, where he has been since last September. Hard to believe that in a few weeks he will have been in a care home for a year.
My friend Carmen Gress's obituary is in the newspaper today. She was just 67 years old. We were diagnosed with cancer around the same time and both in radiation at the same time. She made all my drapes and dust ruffles for the beds, and other things for me when I moved into this condo. We were friends for over 10 years and I will miss her. We had a lot of good times together. It is heck getting this age. Lots of good things about it, but the worst is that friends begin to die. I can remember when Joe and I hated to get calls from his mother, because every call to us she seemed to tell us about someone she knew dying. It seemed then like it would never happen to us. And then...here we are. And I feel blessed to still be breathing!