Lunch with Trevor

Today I drove to Tempe and had hoped to spend afternoon with Trevor but we only had an hour and a half before he needed to go to his first new employee taining at Toys R Us---------so we just did lunch! It was just nice to get to see him and sit and talk to him a bit. He gave me a photo from his homecoming at Corona last week. His date was Maggie, a friend of his. I think it is a really cute photo, so am putting it on my blog today.

Alzheimer myth

Since writing the blog on Joe tonight (see below) I researched a bit further and found this interesting paragraph. Just adding this info.to today's blog. I actually believed this was true also and just learned it is a myth.

Myth: Alzheimer’s disease is not fatal.

Reality: Alzheimer's is a fatal disease. It begins with the destruction of cells in regions of the brain that are important for memory. However, the eventual loss of cells in other regions of the brain leads to the failure of other essential systems in the body. Also, because many people with Alzheimer’s have other illnesses common in older age, the actual cause of death may be no single factor.

My broken heart

I chose to ignore what I was being told this weekend. But today I had to face it.
I was told by the caregiver at the home on Saturday that Joe would not eat lunch. Finally, she had to feed him. I knew this was a first, and I thought it was an exception and decided to ignore it. But today when Joe was given the leftover ribs from the Outback that he had last evening, he did not know how to eat them. Last night he did the same thing and tried to eat the ribs with a fork. He got frustrated and then perturbed at me for suggesting he use his fingers and pick up the ribs. He did the same thing tonight.
The caregiver at the home tonight had to tell him to use his fingers. Finally, he did do that. Then she came and told me he was starting to not know how to eat. She said it is another stage of Alzheimers. I have been to caregiver support groups many times but had never heard that. That information really upset me. I had a very hectic and chaotic day today but this was the final straw. I have been in tears or on verge of tears most of this day. I looked up the stages online and found this:

Stage 7:
Very severe cognitive decline(Severe or late-stage Alzheimer's disease)

This is the final stage of the disease when individuals lose the ability to respond to their environment, the ability to speak and, ultimately, the ability to control movement.
Frequently individuals lose their capacity for recognizable speech, although words or phrases may occasionally be uttered.
Individuals need help with eating and toileting and there is general incontinence of urine.
Individuals lose the ability to walk without assistance, then the ability to sit without support, the ability to smile, and the ability to hold their head up. Reflexes become abnormal and muscles grow rigid. Swallowing is impaired.

II think Joe is between stage 6 and 7. He has lost many of his words. He needs help with almost everything, but he does still smile and laugh and even joke. He can still walk, and just needs help getting in and out of chairs. He does hold his head up and can sit without support. So I do not think he is at stage 7 yet, but it scares me to read about it, as I can see the beginning of these things already.
I really realized today I had done the right thing placing him in a group home.
I have had days of wondering for sure about it, but as the days go by, I am more sure all the time. It is very sad, but I am glad he has such nice people caring for him and such a nice home.God bless him. I pray he knows he is loved. This breaks my heart.

Dinner with Joe at the Outback

"Happiness is good health and a bad memory"......Ingrid Bergman-1915-1982
Well, not sure Joe is in really good health, but he is doing fine, so I do believe he was happy today. I went to see him and took a new picture so I could change the one on his wall, which I had never liked. He now has the one that was in his bedroom of three little black boys sitting on their suitcase in a train station- a picture I have always loved. Then I aked him if he would like to go eat ribs at the Outback, and he said he would. So we had a very nice dinner and he enjoyed it. I think the outings are good for him and give him a change of pace. I let him drink two beers, so of course he was very happy about that and am sure he went right to bed after going back to the home.

It seems I am spending more time on the phone lately, and had a great two hour phone conversation with my sister Nancy last evening. The good news is that her husband Phil got the job he has been wanting for years- transport driver for UPS. They are really happy about it. And I am happy for them. This evening I had a long, lovely phone conversation with Betty Greathouse. Betty visited Joe this week, and told me she talked to Joe over an hour and they talked about people they knew in the past. She has known him since he was a teenager. She was younger than him and is a retired teacher with a Phd. She knew so many people he knew and they had lots to talk about. He converses best with people who have known him all or most of his life and loves to relive the past.

I had a very nice day today- I slept until 11:30 (haven't done that in years) but think I must have needed the sleep. Thank you God- all is well.

More photos to go with blog about Friday 27th.

Flowers and lunch at The Farm at South Mountain restaurant, and a photo of the wedding we observed at the Butterfly Pavilion at the Desert Botanical Gardens.

Fabulous Friday -Desert Botanical Gardens and THE FARM

We had lunch here and it was great. My cancer support
group has lunch at a different place every month.

One of the hundreds of Monarch butterflies.

Our wonderful friend Tish, gave Esther and I guest tickets to see the limited time Butterflies Pavilion exhibit at the fantastic Botanical Gardens. After having lunch with my cancer support group Friday at THE FARM AT SOUTH MOUNTAIN, we went to the Gardens. It turned out to be a real learning experience. Also a wedding took place while we were there in the Butterfly Pavilion- what an original idea and it was beautiful. The couple walked in at same time we did, so we witnessed it all. Including the two butterflies mating right by the couple. It provided laughter for everyone in the pavilion. The wonderful guide/docent there tried hard to show us the difference between female and male butterflies, but Esther and I never really saw the difference, and we believed the butterflies were of the same sex! Also we learned today that the butterflies only live 2-6 weeks. That was depressing. Such beauty for such a short time. Makes you stop and realize- wouldn't you be "mating profusely", as we saw they were-if you only had 6 weeks to live!!!!! We really enjoyed the Botanical Gardens and want to go back. The plants and cactus are amazing. The weather was incredible and the two places we went to today were the BEST- couldn't have been a more perfect day.

After we left the Desert Botanical Gardens, we went to see Joe. And that was another totally perfect experience. We got there about 45 minutes before their dinner, and it seemed like everyone was in a happy and good mood. It all began when Esther reached for some candy from the bowl on coffee table and the big green hand came down on her saying Happy Halloween! She had never seen one before and yelled and we all began laughing. So she kept doing it and the whole place was in stitches laughing. Then everyone started playing with it. Johnny and Susan gave this to Joe last week and it has truly been a gift for the entire home. Everyone has loved it. Johnny and Susan, you guys are great and what a perfect gift!

Then Maggie started throwing a huge blue ball for everyone to catch and throw to someone else, and all we did was laugh. I have never seen this place so happy and having so much fun, and we were laughing and enjoying it all with them. Jules , Frances, Pat and Joe- all especially joined it and were laughing their heads off. I don't know why- but everything was funny to all of us. I hit Jules once on his head with the ball, and it really struck him funny. Of course, it is as light as a feather and can't hurt anyone. When they called everyone to dinner, no one wanted to go, as they wanted to continue having fun and laughing. Jules said, "it seems so peaceful here." He was right and A GOOD TIME WAS HAD BY ALL! Joe was talking and laughing and enjoying himself immensely the entire time. So nice to see everyone enjoying life.

After leaving the group home Esther went to see Miriam Iverson and got a massage. (I had one already this week), and I went home and regrouped. Then after the massage, Esther and I went to the OUTBACK and had a delicious dinner. We both had clam chowder and I had grilled coconut shrimp and Esther had bronzed chicken with corn cakes- which I tasted and it was very good. Esther is only in Phoenix less than 10 days or so before she moves to Washington.

And the really perfect ending to a blessed and perfect day, was that I slept (without any sleeping pills) for ten hours last night and it was great. Thank you, God for this perfect day!

"Let us be grateful to people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners that make our souls blossom".................Marcel Proust, 1871-1922

The evening is always good when you have Mexican food!

This evening my daughter Heidi and I had a lovely dinner and conversation at Auntchiladas. It was the first time I had seen her since we got back from Chicago, and even though we have talked on the phone and done email, we still had a lot of catching up to do. I had delicious chicken tortilla soup and Heidi had some very good fish tacos. And of course, we each had to have a delicious margarita!

I got my flu shot today and then visited Joe. He was in good spirits today and we had a nice chat. He told me he had a visitor this morning but could not remember their name. He has lost his words a good majority of the time, and he calls things by the wrong names. When I quizzed him, he thought the peron's name was Disney. I told him we did not know anyone by that name. I later found out that the wonderful Betty Greathouse visited him and I was thrilled to hear that she had been there. When Maggie told me his visitor was a beautiful black woman named Betty, I knew immediately who that was!

"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant with the weak and the strong; because someday in life you will have been all of these."..........George Washington Carver (1864-1943)

Yea for my home state!

It's about time. This is the new stamp the postal service is issuing in 2007. Where I lived until I was 23 years old, where I grew up, where I went to high school and college, where my roots are.
Thank you postal service!

Visits with Joe and update on Zachary

This is my grandson Zachary, taken a couple days after his knee surgery. I talked to him on the phone yesterday and he has pain but is doing well. Thinking of you and praying for you Zachary!

Yesterday I was at Joe's home twice and he was in a much better state of mind. He was talking and laughing and seemed happy. I had a meeting there in early afternoon with the VA representative and with Linda Bliss who found the home for me, and Joe sat at table with us and enjoyed the "social event" and talked and shared and even made some jokes. He thought it was just friends talking and did not really understand what was going on, but he enjoyed it anyway. He is really a very social person and loves being around people. The good news is that I am hoping and praying to get some partial funding from VA for Joe's care.
I had to go back yesterday evening to have Joe sign a paper saying he does not remember the names and dates (due to his dementia) he was married to four other women, but that he was legally divorced from all of them and is legally currently married to me. When I read the statement to him he laughed. Everyone called him a "a Romeo and Playboy" for having five wives and he just laughs- I think he loves being teased and likes the attention. As long as he laughs and is happy, that is good enough for me. I got there at 6:00 last evening and had to wake him up, but he came out of his room and we sat in living room for an hour. He was even in a good mood then too.
I showed him my book by Barack Obama that I had gotten the night before, and he loved it and talked about Obama, and even told me things Obama said to him the last time he talked to him!
He has a very interesting "fanatsy" world and I always agree with him. His life was far more interesting than I knew-ha!

What's happening with Joe

These are two of the six photos I took today of Joe's exercise class. Maggie, the activity person, is in the blue. She is great with the residents. Joe has not been doing very well the past few days. He seems more confused and less active. Please send him light, love, blessings and prayers.

The wonderful, fantastic, charismatic Senator Obama!

Photo I took of Barack Obama tonight, & Kathy and Ruth.




This is a small photo of the Orpheum Theatre where Barack Obama spoke tonight- and I was there! Thank you, thank you, Kathy for taking me and for the ticket. It was a most wonderful gift and fantastic evening. It was sold out and could not have been in a more lovely place- I just love the Orpheum. We also received copies of his new book The Audacity of Hope and we waited in line to get our book signed by him. Kathy said it best when she told him he was going to change our world. He is all and more I knew he would be and is the best thing that has happened to our country. You just want to put your arms around him and hug him! He was a wonderful speaker and he is a wonderful man. I am so grateful to have seen him and heard him speak in person. He believes we can move beyond our divisions and solve our challanges.
And he is the perfect and right leader for this job.

Lunch with lovely Mary

Mary is going to be upset when she sees this pic of her-she is thousands of times more beautiful than this photo. I meant to take another pic of her at lunch and we were so busy talking for hours that I forgot. She is here from Hawaii and has been my friend since 1974. We arranged to meet at church this morning and then go to Pei Wei for lunch after services, and we did this and had a wonderful visit and great time together. This photo is Mary calling Postino's to see if it was open and it wasn't, much to our disappointment. Mary will be here for a few months so I plan to have many more fantastic visits and lunches with her. Thanks Mary, for always listening and understanding. You are wonderful!!

13th anniversary for my son

October 20, 1993-13 years ago my one and only son, Frankie, died. It is hard for me to believe it has been 13 years. I do not grieve him, but oh, do I miss him! How I would love to see him and give him a big hug. Sending love to you today and every day, my darling Frankie. I will always miss you and you are in my heart forever.............your mother

Latest photos of Emma Ruth

Beautiful Emma! (my little pink bunny)

These are photos taken yesterday of Emma in the robe and slippers I put on a cabbage patch porcelain doll I made in the 80's and have given to Emma. They just fit her! Deidre is having such fun dressing her up. She is a little doll herself anyway!

Zachary is having knee surgery on Monday 23rd because of a football injury and he is not yet 16 years old. I am sending you prayers, love, and hugs Zachary. God bless you.

Everyone tells me my blog makes them tired. Well, I want to slow down and I hope it happens soon for me. I do need more sleep, more quiet time, more time for relaxing and meditation. It is coming, I know. Today I had several phone calls which were wonderful, and did some housework and then went to see Joe. (Thanks Beverly for your wonderful call from Texas- it was GREAT talking to you!!)-hugs to you!

Joe was very quiet and not much talking today- when I told him I had not had dinner and it was 6:00 and I needed to leave and eat something, he said ok and didn't hassle me about leaving, but then he got up when I did and just walked out the door with me! The girl working there had to get him to come back in the house. He just thought he was going with me, I guess. That made me feel bad too. I wish this would get easier.

Tonight is Trevor's Senior year Homecoming dance- he went to the game last night. I know he looks gorgeous tonight and hope I get a photo of him. Can't believe my grandsons are so old. But they are wonderful kids, and that is what matters. Love you, Trevor.

APS 38th annual retirees luncheon

Today I went to the APS retirees annual luncheon at the Doubletree Hotel in Scottsdale, with my friend Jan Maksim. It was very nice and LOTS of people there. I saw very few people I knew though, as many were much older retirees. We did find Bonnie Mirick and she sat with us at lunch and we had a nice visit. I also got to see Chris Frogatt and say hi to him, and there were a few more acquaintances there. Bill Post spoke, and he was Jan's boss. The best thing of all was seeing my "tamale lady" Theresa there, as her husband retired from APS. She was selling tamales and I bought a dozen, so that was good. In fact, that was what I had for dinner (not the whole dozen!)

After the luncheon I went to see Joe late afternoon and he was glad to see me. He was really "rambling" today, so no meaningful conversations to speak of. When it was his dinner time at 5:00, I told him I was going and he said, "you aren't leaving me are you?". He really wants me to stay and has become more insistent about it. He then asked me why I didn't stay all night and sleep there, and I told him I couldn't. He said, "why not? I sleep here." He does not understand and really thinks I should just stay there. All I can say is, some days are hard.

Birthday Celebration at Claim Jumper

Today was my friend, Kathy's birthday and we celebrated with a wonderful lunch at Claim Jumper in Scottsdale. We had fish and chips and thai slaw, that was wonderful! Also Kathy was gifted with a Mud Pie dessert, which we both shared, and it was ultra delicious! We had a nice long visit, which is never long enough. Then she went with me to see Joe and we had a nice visit with him too. It was Kathy's birthday, but I think she gave me the best gift! She won in a lottery for tickets to see/hear SENATOR BARACK OBAMA next Monday evening at the Orpheum Theatre in downtown Phoenix! And...she invited me to go with her. Yea! I am thrilled! As the paper says today, he is "the golden child of the Democractic Party". He has a new book out The Audacity of Hope, and we also get vouchers for the book! I am excited and grateful! Thank you, Kathy!

I also took Joe to the doctor this afternoon for an evaluation and then we had hamburgers around 5:00 at In and Out-our old standby. Joe loves those hamburgers. When I took him back to the group home after being with him for three hours, he said" You are leaving me?". It always makes me feel bad, but I guess I should just be glad he doesn't want me to leave.
He had not forgotten about his friend Van dying and brought it up today. I was surprised and he usually remembers nothing from previous day. But this was very significant to him, of course. He talked a lot about when he last saw Van in April (in California) and spent the entire day with him. But almost everything else he talked about today, I had no clue what he was talking about.

My days are always a mixture of the happy and the sad. That is just the way it is.
Susan and Johnny visited Joe this morning and he even remembered when I asked. Thanks Susan and Johnny for visiting him! I am thankful for good friends. I saw this in a magazine today and it is cute: Friends are God's way of apologizing for your relatives.
I am thankful for my family too.

Good news and Sad news

The sad news is that I got a call from Joe's friend, Don today telling me that his brother died Monday night. Joe grew up with both of the brothers and has known them all of his life. This was a shock to me and very upsetting and I knew it would be to Joe also. I also felt I had to tell him today, rather than him hearing it from someone else. I went to see Joe late this afternoon and after a brief visit, shared the sad news with him and he was very upset. He wanted to call Don, so we did. Life can sure throw us some curves sometimes. For Joe's sake, I hope by tomorrow he won't remember this, but I am not sure this time.

The good news is I was able to relax part of today, read and have coffee this morning without rushing, and then this afternoon I went to see the movie "Little Miss Sunshine". I have not gone to a movie in a very, very long time. I hope in a few weeks my pace will slow down a bit. This has been a crazy and hectic week for me most of the time. More good news is that I was gifted with two free movie tickets this afternoon from my chiropracter's office-the best in the valley-Valley Spinal Care at 56th St. and Bell. (this was after I went to a movie, so now I can go two more times!)

Photos from Esther's grad party

New gardenias and more

My favorite flower since I was in college in the 50's has been the gardenia. I had beautiful gardenia plants and blossoms at my previous home. When we moved to the new condo in February, the timing was off for gardenias. But today I found the most gorgeous plant with three gardenia blossoms on it and many more to come! Yea! This I am going to enjoy to the fullest. And the fragance is heavenly!

Yesterday my friend Esther graduated from University of Phoenix and I attended her wonderful graduation party late yesterday afternoon. She was glowing and thrilled to have her degree at last, and many, many friends and family came to celebrate with her. I was going to take all the photos of the party for her and then brought my camera with no battery in it! I took it out to charge it and forgot to put it back in. Fortunately, Jenna became our official photographer of the event, using Esther's camera. She received tons of fantastic gifts, and there was enough food to eat for double the amount of people there- and we had a big crowd.
Esther was radiant in her new "Dolly Parton" outfit- she was just TOO MUCH. And she deserved to do what she wanted-she earned it.

Our friend Tish was at the party that we met at the womens retreat last June, and we are planning a wonderful adventure- we are going to see the butterflies in all their glory at the Desert Botanical Gardens. I can hardly wait.

I went to see Joe Sunday afternoon before I went to the party. He was in good spirits and I do not think he is mad at me for taking the trip any longer. I think he may have forgotten I took the trip, because he was having problems remembering his big party on Saturday even. But he was happy and that is all that matters. I also went to see him today for awhile but he was asleep when I got there. He did wake up when he heard my voice, but then decided he wanted more sleep and went back to bed. He said he did not get much sleep last night. I told him to go ahead and sleep and I would see him tomorrow.

It is so cool on my patio this evening- that if I sat out there I would need a sweater. Yea! Love this October Phoenix weather. It is just absolutely perfect. I had a wonderful hour and a half massage today and am feeling so much better tonight. All is well. Thank you God.

Joy! Joy! My new gardenia plant for my new condo!

Joe's 75th birthday party

Yesterday was Joe's birthday party and the celebration of his day was wonderful! It was a happy and joyous occasion and everyone present enjoyed it, as did Joe. Family and friends present were- Heidi, Trevor, Esther, Carmen, Roy, Zimeta, Karl, Virginia, Linda and her mother, Maggie, Lenor, John Paul and Peter, plus the staff including Ana. Also the residents present for cake and ice cream were Pat, Bob, Lou, Jules, Sydney and Leslie. Joe had a beautiful marble cake topped with white and dark chocolate curls, black walnut and vanilla ice cream, plus an incredible crocodile cake that Linda brought made from cupcakes. Linda also brought a couple plates filled with all kinds of sweet goodies. And Hawaiian Punch to drink, plus Joe was allowed two bottles of Bud Light. He received two sets of pants and shirts, a gorgeous Izod burgundy shirt, gardening things in a cute pumpkin, See's candy, and a new hat. There were 12 beautiful helium birthday balloons, 10 gift bags with colorful birthday teddy bears (these were given to residents at end of party) and lots of colorful decorations. Joe was so worn out from all the celebrating that about 4:15 he slipped off and went to bed for a nap! When the rest of us left about 5:00 he was still sleeping. Joe had a very happy birthday.

A rainy morning

I just got a wonderful newsy email from my long-time friend, Lucy in Missouri, and it was the bright spot of this rainy morning. I am glad to see the rain though, as it means cooler weather is on its way. My patio plants are loving the water too. As I answered Lucy about Joe, I thought I would share this paragraph to her on my blog.

"Joe is so hard to be with sometimes as you can't (most times) really communicate with him. I talk to him like he was the same as he always was, but when he talks to me, half of the time it makes no sense. It is very sad to me. I have been grieving for 4 years and grieve more and more, because basically he is gone to me except for the care and cost. And the cost is not just $- it is loss of companionship and sharing most of all. But there is a reason for everything and I accept that."

Joe's Birthday dinner

Joe and Esther

Joe and Ruth at the group home

Tomorrow Joe will be 75 years old and we began the celebration this evening. I picked him up and we drove to Pappadeaux's Seafood Restaurant, and Esther met us there. Joe had all his favorites- fried catfish filets, fries, alligator tails, sweet potato pecan pie topped with vanilla ice cream, and of course, a couple of beers. It was a beautiful cool evening and we sat outside on patio at the restaurant and listened to the live band after we ate. It was a good start for his birthday celebration.

This morning I went to see Joe and at first he acted like he didn't know me and teased me, but he was glad to see me. He is kind of mad at me though and has been rather quiet both times I have seen him today. He told me if I left him again, he had a plan. I asked him what it was and he said he wouldn't tell me. Once he sees I am there visiting him every day, he will get less mad at me. He thought I was never coming back and just leaving him there. He did not ask if he could go home though, and I thought he would today since I was back from my trip. Maybe he has accepted he is staying there- I just do not know yet. When I took him back to his group home tonight after dinner and told him I would see him for his party tomorrow afternoon- he asked me, "aren't you staying all night?". I just said, no, I couldn't. Esther with us this evening was a good thing, as she can make him laugh and she takes such good care of him, and he likes her so much. So I did see that he would laugh for her at least. I am just the "bad guy" right now since I left him for a week. He will forget it soon and all will be ok.

Our waiter comp'd us all three desserts tonight because it was Joe's birthday and Esther's graduation celebration. So that was nice too!

Life is Good

Here I am near a beautiful covered bridge
near Elburn, Illinois with my three grandsons,
Trevor, Zachary, and Isaac.

How could life be any better?

I went in the most wonderful shop in the Chicago
airport called LIFE IS GOOD. What a great place-
I fell in love with the shop & was thrilled to find it!

I accept the GOOD

This is today's SOM affirmation for the day and it is true for me. I accept all the Good in my life, knowing All is Good. I got home from my trip yesterday and my wonderful friend Kathy Weiner was waiting for me at the airport and had a great short visit with her. It was so fantastic of her to pick me and my baggage up at the airport and bring me home. I also thank another friend (and another Kathy), Kathy Szecsi, for taking me to the airport last week. Thank God for good friends. As the affirmation says " At every moment of this day I am surrounded by good."
All good flows to me, all good flows through me. Where I am, God is, and all is well.
Kathy W. gifted me with bright orange zinnias (or mums, we aren't sure which) from her garden and they exactly match the two mini pumpkins I brought from Illinois. And she gave me a wonderful little calendar for 2007 for my purse. What more could I need? Thanks, Kathy.

My beautiful grandsons, Trevor and Zachary

Photos of Emma's family

Isaac (Emma's 4 yr. old brother)
Grandma Ruth and Emma Ruth

More wonderful photos of Emma Ruth and her family

Zachary (brother), Mommy Deidre and Emma Ruth

Emma at the Scarecrow Festival

Tomorrow I go home!

Time sure has passed fast. Tomorrow will be 8 days and I "hit the road" for Arizona.
It has been really cold past couple of days but I am feeling better. Yesterday all of us went to breakfast/lunch at Apple Villa and had apple keuken - which we all shared plus our regular breakfasts- fantastic food! It takes the whole morning and into early afternoon to get 8 people bathed, dressed and ready to go. Plus the baby's feedings, etc.- but it is so nice having all the family together, which is rare. I have enjoyed and appreciated us all being together.

Today Deidre, Heidi, Trevor, Zach, Isaac, Emma and Ruth (me) went to a beautiful covered bridge and took photos and then went to a Pumpkin Festival for Isaac. It was too early and not in full swing but they had wonderful carmel and nut apples on a sticks and all kinds of jams, jellies, and butters. Plus much more foods, and all kinds of amazing gourds and tons of pumpkins.

I have now been "to Chicago" twice but never seen or done downtown Chicago. Maybe next time. I would sure like to see the sights there. This time the emphasis was family and Emma's christening and the other time was just a plane changeover on my way to Pittsburgh. Sure would love to see the Oprah show someday too.
It is supposed to freeze tonight and get colder with maybe snow on Thursday- time to head southwest!

Esther went to see Joe yesterday evening and stayed about 3 hours visiting him and everyone there! She said it was hard to leave! He now knows I have been sick and told her "I knew Ruth would get sick when she went to Chicago!"- well, that much was true. I called the home this morning and Maggie had taken Joe to a Parkinson's exercise class and they said all was well. I will be home in time to celebrate his 75th birthday on Saturday. Adios.

The whole family At Emma's christening

Brian's parents from Dubuque, Iowa. his two sisters and their husbands, Ruth, Heidi, and Trevor from Arizona, Zachary and Isaac (Emma's brothers)- almost the whole family. October 8, 2006 at Fox Valley Unity Church.

My daughter Deidre, the mommy of Emma Ruth

Grandma Ruth and baby 2 month old Emma Ruth

Emma Ruth's Christening

Sunday was a beautiful, sunny day. Emma was baptized at Fox Valley Unity Church in Batavia, Illinois. There is a beautiful Fox River that runs through the town and it is about 10 minutes from where Deidre and Brian live. The day could not have been more perfect and it was the most beautiful christening ceremony I have ever seen. Nancy Leahy-Jacklow performed the ceremony and Emma was gifted with twelve spiritual gifts- each read by twelve members of her family. I read the gift from Joe since he was not here, and his gift to her was love. The ceremony was part of the church service and was lovely.

After the service we took LOTS of pictures of Emma with all of her family members. She was gorgeous in a very long white christening dress. I gave her a little silver bracelet with her christening date and name on it. She received many, many wonderful gifts. We then came back to Brian and Deidre's beautiful home in Elburn and had lunch and the family stayed the whole day. It all reminded me of how we did things when I was growing up and I loved it.

The only "blimp" in this day was me. I became very ill Saturday evening with chills and fever and was sick all night, and was back in bed as soon as we got home. Had high fever again last night so I was in bed the whole day. The fever has broken now and just have a bad cough.

Heidi and Trevor arrived here about 3:00 Saturday afternoon and that has been great, too. Sat. evening Zachary and Trevor went to the homecoming at Zach's high school, and they were so beautiful- all dressed up. They went out to dinner with 15 or more other kids and then to the dance. Yesterday afternoon they went to another party of Zach's friends-so they have been having a good time.

Isaac's "new friend" is Heidi and he made her do everything with him. When he showed her his room he showed her the bath scale and said, "when you stand on this it tell you how old you are." He is a pistol- never know what will come out of his mouth.

All of Brian's family was here yesterday and we enjoyed having time with them. His mom and dad, Patsy and Gary, live in Dubuque, Iowa about 3 hours away. His sister Chris also lives in Dubuque and she was here too. His sister, Barbara and her husband, Dan were here and they live about 45 minutes away.

It was just a wonderful and memorable day!
Thank you God for letting me be here for this day and well enough to be at the ceremony!

More Scarecrow Festival fun

We had a wonderful day at the festival in St. Charles. We saw all the scarecrow entries and they were more varied than one could imagine. Scarecrows of every size and description were there. We had so much fun listening to the music, eating many kinds of food as their were tons of different food booths. We had portions of cheescake topped with strawberries, strawberries dipped in chocolate, terriyaki chicken on a stick, potato pancakes, roasted ears of corn, and gyros. Oh, and kettle corn too! What fun! The day was beautiful and weather great, a little cold in the shade. We did too much walking for me as the town is very hilly, but I survived ok. What a lovely town! Emma was fantastic all day- she loved all the sights and sounds and wanted to see everything. And she slept all the time we were driving in the car.
I think she enjoyed the day too. Then Deidre and I went to a store that sells Crocs and she bought a pair and I bought two pairs of crocs thong sandals. Deidre already had the thongs but I had never seen them. Today she bought a brown pair of Crocs like the purple ones I had on. We love them! Before we left today we went to a nearby park and Zach took pictures of us.
Also, Deidre drove me through a national or state forest preserve and it was incredible. It was so beautiful you could not believe it and so very peaceful.
Going in there just calms you down. She put a CD of Joe's (Gene Ammons), and we cried when we listened to it and sent love to Joe.
This is gorgeous country- it is easy to see why they love it here.

Scarecrow Festival in St. Charles

Today we are going to the Scarecrow Festival-Deidre, Emma Ruth, and me. Zachary is out of school today and next Monday, and he has a football game today so has to be at school at 3:00, Isaac is at pre-school today but he does not go every day. So we are going to have a wonderful day. (again) I will write about the festival after we go! I am so excited to see St. Charles as it is a BEAUTIFUL city on a river. And lots of fun things to do there.

I just talked to Joe,and Zachary talked to him too. First thing Joe asked me was "are you home?". I am sure he will ask that every day. When Zach got on phone, Joe said "Hi, Dude!" and that made Zach happy. He was able to have a nice little talk with Zach and when I said to Joe, isn't Zach wonderful, he said "they are all wonderful". He said he missed me and I miss him too.

Today the sun is shining and it is a very beautiful day. This morning Zachary and I watched the movie "The Bobby Jones Story-Stroke of a Genius" and Zach had lots of questions about Bobby Jones. I told Zach when he graduates from high school,if I am able- I will take him to Atlanta and we will do the city tour and see BJ's home there. It has always been a dream of mine to do that. It is his heritage and he would love to go he said. He is most impressed with BJ's record and the man he was.

I have also shown Zach the book Cano wrote, as I have it with me and am reading it.
I told him that tells a lot about the Graham side of his history and he really wants to read it too. There is a nice photo of his great-grandmother Graham on pg. 66 that I showed him. Zach knows Cano, his uncle, and is very impressed with the book. I am so proud that after 13 years, this book is a reality for my ex-brother-in-law, Cano Graham. Made me cry when I got it and I got the first copy (or so he says! ha! I have known Cano since 1959- way too long) There is one untruth I have discovered in the book and am half way though (and it is a must read and fantastic book!!!) and that is that my first husband was a plastic surgeon-no way. He was a general practice physician who botched up showgirls in Vegas with breast implants. We all have an eccentric and interesting history! (it needs no embellishemnt, believe me)
I love Cano nevertheless and am very, very happy for him that his long time dream of this book on healing clay therpy is a reality!

My first time to see Emma Ruth!

I arrived in Chicago yesterday and it was a big change of weather for me coming from hot Phoenix. Chicago had been hot the day before but a thunderstorm came through the area and it got cold. When I left the baggage area and went outside I could not believe it. It was cloudy, windy, and freezing! I was so glad I had on a heavy flannel jacket with a hood. Brian, my son-in-law, got lost as he had not been to Midway before, so I was outside a very long time and near frozen! Actually it felt very good to experience cold weather again for awhile. The leaves are changing colors and we had a beautiful drive. I saw many, many corn fields on the way to their house!

When I got to their house (which was over an hour away) Deidre had Emma all dressed up for my first time to see her. She was in a little pink and white dress, with matching jacket and bloomers, and little pink shoes. The jacket and dress had hand-sewn flowers on them. She was an adorable little princess. Deidre said she looked like a little flower and she did-she is just so beautiful and precious. Emma was 2 months old last week and her christening is this coming Sunday. I am sad though that Joe cannot be here and cannot see her. He would love her too.

Brian and I picked up Isaac on the way home, from his preschool, so I got to go in and see that too. Isaac was excited and happy to see me and asked me a jillion questions on the way home. He had cut his face on the slide and had a "boo boo". Brian told me that when he took Isaac to school that morning that Isaac had asked him two intriguing questions and they are too wonderful not to mention. He asked his dad, "when I am a big boy, who will be your little boy?" , and, " when I am tall, who will play with my toys?". Last night I laid in his bed with him while we listened to his meditation tape, until he fell asleep. He is ALL BOY, exrememly active, and demanding and in full charge of the world. He will always be in control and he lets you know it-what a kid. He is very smart, knows all the alphabet and his numbers, his address, phone number, and can spell his name.He can be very, very sweet when he wants to and he is a wonderful little boy.

It was also a real thrill to see Zachary, who will be 16 years old in January. I had not seen him for two years and so it was really special getting to see him. We hugged and hugged and it was just wonderful. He is very happy here, and is on his high school football team and loves it. He did injure his knee and has to have surgery on it October 23rd and will be out of school for a week. He is so "grown" and is a beautiful and good kid. He also told me he misses his grandpa Joe not being here too.

I did talk to Joe on the phone today and he sounded good. He is a bit confused as to where I am, and when I am coming back. I told him I would see him in a week, and he said " A WEEK?". I know he does not understand time anymore so maybe I should not have said that. He was glad I called and knows I will call him every day. Lenor, who is in charge there, told me that he played basketball game today and was very good.
I know he is well cared for and I do miss him.

It is 46 degrees right now and going to be 38 degrees tonight.
That is darn cold for a Phoenix girl!

Bon Voyage

I am leaving for Chicago tomorrow and then a short drive to my daughter's 60 miles from there. My son-in-law will pick me up at the airport. Then on to see my daughter and three wonderful grandchildren who live there. I plan to continue my blog there but it may not be every day. I have to let all know about my new granddaughter and all the fun going on. I will be calling Joe every day and talking to him also. I saw him today for about an hour and he was fine. I took pictures of new grandbaby for him to look at, and to remind him I was leaving to see her. He seemed to understand. I told the girls who work there to remind him each day I am not there to see him because I have gone to see our grandchildren, and to remind him of the new baby, and to also tell him I will be back in a few days.
I will miss seeing Joe every day. It will be his birthday when I return and am planning a birthday party for him.
This is a picture of new little Emma Ruth!

Love makes the world go round

"Faith is the daring of the soul to go farther than it can see."
I am going on Faith these days that when I leave to see my newborn grand-daughter in two days, that Joe will be all right. He will adjust to his new home and understand where I have gone. He will be kept busy with exercise classes, walks, and visits from friends. The time I am gone will fly by for him, and all will be well. For him, and for me. I have a safe and joyous trip and return refreshed. I have faith this is what will happen. This is my affirmation, my intention- it is faith.

I had a busy day today with appointments and errands, but stopped by to see Joe for awhile this morning. He was asleep. He had done the exercise class and then Maggie had taken him and two other residents for a walk. I guess Joe came back from the walk exhausted and went straight to bed. I woke him and just sat on his bed and talked to him for awhile today and then let him go back to sleep.

A lot of good things happened to me today. I was gifted at my hair salon with free cut and color; my chiropractor told me any time I was in pain and the office was closed, to call him and he would meet me at the office and do an adjustment; and I received another gift in the mail. Joe's glasses were broken and I got them fixed at no cost also. Just an abundance of blessings today. Thank you, God.

THINK PINK- OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH!
I AM A TWO YEAR SURVIVOR- THANK YOU, GOD!

October at last!

"After winter comes the summer.
After night comes the dawn.
After every storm, there comes clear skies."
And after Phoenix summer heat, there comes October! Yea!

This was a busy October 1st, and a busy Sunday. Esther and Jenna spent the night here last night and slept in my spare bed and Jenna did a lot of "talking in her sleep"!
This morning Esther left to attend her church, and Jenna went to church with me. We really enjoyed the service and music today! Then Jenna and I had lunch at Pei Wei and sat on outdoor patio to eat- yea October! Then I took her home and headed east to see Joe.

Joe was sitting in living room waiting for me. I had him go in where TV was and we sat on the sofa and watched the Discovery channel. He talked quite a bit and was very calm and peaceful. I asked him if he had any company today and he said no. I don't think anyone came to see him this weekend. He needs the visitors the most on the weekend as there are no activities on the weekend. So was sure glad I was there.

I told him I would be going to Chicago in 2 more days. And he said "you still talking about that?" and laughed. Sometimes he thinks I made this up, I think, and other times he thinks I have already been there. He is also very confused about where Deidre is. He often thinks she is here or is coming here, instead of thinking I am going to see her. It was peaceful though, just sitting on sofa with him for an hour, and I almost fell asleep. I took him to his bed as he was sleepy and he layed down for a short nap before dinner. He has someone else's glasses. He cannot find or keep track of his glasses. I will try to get that solved tomorrow.

Heidi called this evening and she said when Trevor arrived home for her to take him to emergency room last night, he looked like he had been in a car accident-he was literally covered with blood. I can't imagine how scary this was for him and for her. I am so glad I did not see him as I would have totally freaked out. It is just an almost unbelievable story to me. He had an almost two inch gash on his head and he had really bled a lot. In the emergency room last night were three other people who need stitches and three more with broken noses- all had attended the concerts at Tempe Town Lake. When he felt the blood running down him, he got away from the area by the stage where he was, which was a very good thing. If he had passed out, he could have been trampled to death. These concerts scare me and I wish , oh how I wish, he would not go to them.

I just finished reading a wonderful book, CRAZY LADIES by Michael Lee West. The preface of the book has this quote by The Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., "The old age law of an eye for an eye leaves everyone blind...Violence ends by defeating itself."

More photos taken Saturday Sept. 30th

(1) Joe, Pat, Ruth
(2) Joe and Ruth

September 30th-Saturday blog

Even though it is after midnight, I am writing the Saturday blog.
Jenna came over to stay the evening and night with me and so we went to see Joe as soon as she got to my house this afternoon. We celebrated Jenna's 13th birthday tonight. Her birthday is not until October 12th but I won't be able to celebrate with her that day, so we did it early. (Jenna is my friend Brenda's daughter, and she has been my "adopted grand-daughter" for about 3 years or so now.)
Joe was glad to see her and remembered her.

We stayed about and hour and a half with Joe. Nancy, who works at the home, told me Joe had just said he guessed I wasn't coming to see him today. I told him I would always be there when I was in town. He was in a pretty good mood but rather quiet today. I brought him his Arizona Informant paper and he was glad to have that, and I turned on a football game for him to watch. The sad thing to me was that he had his hat and cane by him and thought I was taking him some place. I asked him where he wanted to go but he said he didn't know. Later I asked him if he was still mad at me, and he said NO, he wasn't. THen he said the saddest thing of all- he said the thing that was bothering him the most with all of this and being there was that he did not know where he was at.

Sometimes I just want to sit down and cry and cry. This is not the way I envisioned our later years to be. It feels very sad to me most of the time. Brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it.

Jenna and I met Esther and went to Auntchiladas for dinner, and Jenna was served fried ice cream with a candle and we sang happy birthday to her! Then we came back to my house and watched some DVD's. I hope Jenna had a nice evening.

Tonight while we were watching a movie, about 9:30, my phone rang and it was Trevor. He had called me this morning to see how I was and how his grandpa was and told me he was going to a big all day concert at Tempe Town Lake. When he called tonight, he was on his way home to his mom's, & then going to the hospital. Something had hit him in the head tonight at the concert and he had to have stitches in his head. I talked to Heidi about 11:30 tonight just as they were leaving the hospital, and he had 4 staples put in his head. This really scared me, but guess he is ok.
I hope and pray he will be fine and will talk to him tommorow.

I promised Joe a beer!

I told Joe today that he has a birthday in 2 weeks and I would bring cake and ice cream, See's candy, and a beer! All he really wants is the beer!

Joe was waiting at the door for me this afternoon. He really wanted to see me. He did not complain about anything and was very sweet. We sat on the sofa and talked. Most of the time he wanted to tell me something and before he could tell me, it was gone and he had no idea what he wanted to tell me. He started many sentences but never finished them. I would laugh and make jokes of it and he would laugh too. It makes me happiest when I can make him laugh.

I asked him if he wanted to talk to his friend "Barbecue Jack" in California and he said he did, so I called him and let Joe talk to him. Of course, true to what Joe does, he never said he was in a group home, just joked and laughed with Jack and said everything was wonderful and he felt great. Then I talked to Jack and he said "Joe sounds wonderful". Yes, he alwys does when he talks to his old friends.
And Joe was feeling good today and he was in a good mood.

After about an hour and a half, Joe said he was sleepy and wanted to take a nap before dinner. Pat sat with us part of the time this afternoon and she thinks Joe is great. She told me "I forget things just like Joe does. I think maybe we are brother and sister!" I thought that was wonderful!
Well, this is blog # 3 for today, so think the day has been pretty well covered.
I had a nice evening also-had dinner with my friend Marie (good friend from Unity days) and we ate at Sam's Cafe at Biltmore Plaza.